A New Phase

Things have been a bit tough of late and I have been wrestling with who I am and what God wants from me. I have still felt weak and ineffectual.

Last night I went to a joint small group where the men prayed for the men and the women prayed for the women. During prayer two prophetic words were given to me, which at first glance seemed a little innocuous but on reconsidering were just right.

My friend Frazer said I was like a steam train on a track going the right way and not veering-as is the nature of tracks, but I was stopped at a place to take on water and fuel.

Johnny said he had a picture of a fluffy pillow. What that meant he did not know. "just enjoy it", he said. I was encouraged a little.

As I was the first to be prayed for, I was glad to be used of God after that in bringing words to others. The images were clear and words were sharp.

One particular one I had for Gerry was really good. He was like an archaeologist on a dig. He was looking for something, but he did not know what. He had been digging and sometimes it was hard graft but he was motivated by knowing there was something to find. God expressed how pleased he was that he was looking and persisting in a task that can at times seem slow and laborious. Sometimes it needs shovel work, sometimes a little trowel or brush. all the same he was persisting. The parable of treasure in a field was mentioned too. Jesus is worth everything to find.

With trepidation and with the warning words of "not to think of yourself more highly than you ought" I will tell you the next bit.

This morning I got up to pray. This has been a rare event recently, but I was today able to get out of bed. I was still wrestling with God. He reminded me of the two words from last night. Suddenly I saw I did not have to be anyone or do anything but to - in the case of the pillow just enjoy God's rest and comfort. Yes I was going in the right direction but stopped to take on water and fuel ready to steam ahead.

Having that encouraging me, another message for myself came for me. To illustrate that please click the link below.

http://www.arkive.org/species/ARK/invertebrates_terrestrial_and_freshwater/Anax_imperator/Anax_imperator_09b.html

You will see this is a dragonfly nymph emerging to adulthood. This is the image God gave me this morning.

He said I was like a dragonfly emerging from nymph stage. During this time it is stationary and not doing anything (apart from trying to emerge). It can seem an arduous and painful task but that is part of the process. Also at this time it is very vulnerable and has no defence. The nymph looks ugly in comparison to the fully formed insect.

By nature the dragon fly has large eyes to see with and if you click the last of the four pictures on the site you will see it going to and fro looking. This I felt God saying I would do for the church. Although I have been doing it to some measure, I feel I will flourish in the gift.

I had to be rid of the outer shell of self reliance and pride and thinking of what I could do for Him and to flourish into the beauty of what He had made me and rest in that.

Please pray for me. I feel I am still in the emerging stage and I am still vulnerable.