Just over a year ago, maybe two, God called me to Holiness. I have been a Christian for a good while now – over 50 years by my reckoning. I was ready to take on the adventure.
One of my weaknesses was knuckling down to read a book. Certainly, I may start a book with enthusiasm but, end up not finishing it. My bookshelves are heaving with books that I have not started, let alone finished.
Strangely I was drawn to read more theology books. Theology books, I thought, can look daunting because of their size and use of heavy dusty words I perceived to be their content. But I took the plunge. I took it slowly and it began with a book that I had had in my possession for a while. Previously I had started it. But, as is my habit, I only read halfway through the first chapter. I had read something in there I did not quite agree with (nothing major, just about creation and how things may be after Christ restore creation when He returns).
Now, having received the calling, and at the prompt of God, I decided I would return to it and try to finish it. I am glad to say I did. My original objection was still there but I felt God tell me I must be humble and learn. That is the nature of seeking to learn for oneself.
Last summer, the summer of 2019, I was at a conference, and my wife Andrea was kind enough to buy me the Biography of The Apostle Paul by Tom Wright from the conference bookshop. This book looked like it fitted all that I had thought about theology books: it was large and seemingly wordy. I was glad to receive it though. It remained on my shelf amongst the books I intended to read. Later, I decided I would give it a go. I was pleasantly surprised; it wasn’t as heavy as I had feared. In fact, it was quite accessible and easy to get in to. I was able to get out reading this book lots of fresh ideas and new understandings that God wanted to talk to me about. Maybe, I thought to myself, whether God had given me a new ability to grasp deeper things of Him.
What does it mean to pursue Holiness?
Of course, the question arises as to what pursuing Holiness means. Is it seeking to try harder to not doing anything wrong? To try and obey the Ten commandments? Surely that is what God requires, isn't it?
I believe it is not what God is looking for. Granted seeking to do what God wants, through His written word, is laudable; But from what place does that come? From where was my motivation?
For me it is a recognition of who I am before God. Seeing first to that I was sinful, also recognising I was dependant on God to cleanse me; I needed a saviour. Repentance then was necessary; a turning away from that that displeases God. Although this call to holiness has been a recent revelation, it is something that God calls all who believe and are reliant on Jesus to deal with their sin. And it is always an ongoing battle.
What does it mean to displease God?
Although the believer, who is in Christ, is set free from the requirements of The Law (Romans 8:2), it is still a pointer to what God requires.
Displeasing God, I think, is a not recognising God for who He is and what he has done. Whether in one’s life or creation. Not believing who He is, and as Creator, what say He has on your life be it independent living, not listening to Him, disobedience, are all ways in which we express our sinfulness.
A broken Childhood
My childhood and background are not a pretty sight. Coming as I did from a broken home, I had little knowledge of what true love meant. All I can say is that God was working to reveal His love to me, bringing me to a place where I could receive this love. Leading me and coaxing me to follow Him. It was like He was chasing me for me to belong. The revelation of His love that convinced me I was wanted and loved by Him; finally giving my life to Jesus when I was 16.
This though, was only the start. I was broken and in need of mending. However, I could not mend myself. A calling to Holiness came even from when I first believed- when I finally relented at God pursuing me. Yes, even then, God was speaking to me about changing my behaviour. Doing what God wanted was what I wanted, but I found it exceedingly difficult.
Sometimes a circumstance would arise, especially to do with my clumsiness, I would argue with God, expressing my anger at Him or myself most of all.
Eventually, I discovered that God is a gracious, loving Father. He was committed to me, even in my rebellion and anger.
Slowly God was showing me His love and grace. Grace to still accept and welcome me, even, I felt, at my darkest times.
My point in sharing this is to show that the walk with God is a partnership. He has shown His love by Jesus dying on the cross. I recognised it was for me he died. He was at work in me through His Holy Spirit, changing me little by little. And, like when it was in my first coming to him, I was bought to a place where the call to holiness was something I was willing to hear.
What does it mean to please God?
Turning this on its head the key to pleasing God is having a faith in the invisible God. Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. And, Romans 1:17 For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed--a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith." Faith, therefore, is the key to pleasing Him. Believing God, and what He has revealed in His word, begins a process of relationship with this Living God through Jesus Christ.
For me also, it is seeing that this God – The true and living God- loves me. Why has He loved me? I have no idea! But he has shown his love for me in Jesus – God incarnate, who gave His life on the cross to open the way for me to have a relationship with Him. So, in response, I would love Him in return, for He has captured my heart. My motivation, therefore, is one of gratitude and love in response to His love shown me. He came and died for me by dying on the cross. (Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.) and 1 John 4:10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Following Jesus is still not easy
Although I have been a follower of Jesus for over 50 years now, I am still mindful of my rebellious ways. I am still very much affected by feelings of rejection. But I do have a rock to stand on: Father’s love for me. Knowing he is committed to me. When I realise, I have listened to lies that I tell myself, I return to Jesus to receive His love that He has shown.
However, with God’s help, I am determined to continue to follow Jesus. To continue to discover deeper things God wants to show me.
I am reliant and extremely grateful for His grace to cleanse me when I mess up. And, as I have found, the closer I get to Jesus, I find I recognise hidden sin and rebellion I did not realise was there. It is God’s light that reveals it in my life (1 John 1:7). This I believe, is the essence of pursuing a holy life.
