A New Phase

Things have been a bit tough of late and I have been wrestling with who I am and what God wants from me. I have still felt weak and ineffectual.

Last night I went to a joint small group where the men prayed for the men and the women prayed for the women. During prayer two prophetic words were given to me, which at first glance seemed a little innocuous but on reconsidering were just right.

My friend Frazer said I was like a steam train on a track going the right way and not veering-as is the nature of tracks, but I was stopped at a place to take on water and fuel.

Johnny said he had a picture of a fluffy pillow. What that meant he did not know. "just enjoy it", he said. I was encouraged a little.

As I was the first to be prayed for, I was glad to be used of God after that in bringing words to others. The images were clear and words were sharp.

One particular one I had for Gerry was really good. He was like an archaeologist on a dig. He was looking for something, but he did not know what. He had been digging and sometimes it was hard graft but he was motivated by knowing there was something to find. God expressed how pleased he was that he was looking and persisting in a task that can at times seem slow and laborious. Sometimes it needs shovel work, sometimes a little trowel or brush. all the same he was persisting. The parable of treasure in a field was mentioned too. Jesus is worth everything to find.

With trepidation and with the warning words of "not to think of yourself more highly than you ought" I will tell you the next bit.

This morning I got up to pray. This has been a rare event recently, but I was today able to get out of bed. I was still wrestling with God. He reminded me of the two words from last night. Suddenly I saw I did not have to be anyone or do anything but to - in the case of the pillow just enjoy God's rest and comfort. Yes I was going in the right direction but stopped to take on water and fuel ready to steam ahead.

Having that encouraging me, another message for myself came for me. To illustrate that please click the link below.

http://www.arkive.org/species/ARK/invertebrates_terrestrial_and_freshwater/Anax_imperator/Anax_imperator_09b.html

You will see this is a dragonfly nymph emerging to adulthood. This is the image God gave me this morning.

He said I was like a dragonfly emerging from nymph stage. During this time it is stationary and not doing anything (apart from trying to emerge). It can seem an arduous and painful task but that is part of the process. Also at this time it is very vulnerable and has no defence. The nymph looks ugly in comparison to the fully formed insect.

By nature the dragon fly has large eyes to see with and if you click the last of the four pictures on the site you will see it going to and fro looking. This I felt God saying I would do for the church. Although I have been doing it to some measure, I feel I will flourish in the gift.

I had to be rid of the outer shell of self reliance and pride and thinking of what I could do for Him and to flourish into the beauty of what He had made me and rest in that.

Please pray for me. I feel I am still in the emerging stage and I am still vulnerable.

Lessons to learn

Quite a lot has been happening. We have been watching the revival in Florida on TV. In response to that I decided to have a special healing meeting at my work's Christian Union. I felt I was obeying what God wanted me to do but I did not feel I could do it. I felt a bit of a burden of responsibility on me. I got the others in the group to pray. We were desperate for God to meet with us. I felt so hungry for His presence. I was so aware of my weakness and failings. I have a fine group who rallied round and sought Jesus to turn up.

The meeting was fantastic. All I could do was to rely on God and obey what he was saying. We had a time of worship then I felt God give me a couple of words for healing people. People responded and we had lots of testimonies of people being touched and healed by Jesus.

In the past I would try to hard and rely on a formula. But I realise now that it's all about Jesus and how He wants to do it.

In lots of ways I believe God can use you to touch your fellow prisoners. You can ask God to bring healing to peoples lives and bring glory to Jesus in that prison. I fact they mentioned that on TV a couple of weeks ago saying God was starting to move mightily in prisons. I don't know what your Chaplin, Ken, thinks of all this but watching it and hearing from God I really want to do and be where He wants me to be.

Things can never be the same and it seems that this is a start of worldwide move of God to bring nations around the world to Christ and see His name glorified. I was even going to there myself this week but in the end I felt God say hold off for a while.

Andrea and I have been married for over 29 years now. So, as part of the celebrations we went on a marriage course. This was hosted by a big church in London called Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB). It was a real eye opener. They give you a meal and there is a talk and then you are expected to discuss together a particular subject each week. Subjects such as: Knowing me-Knowing you, Resolving conflict, Parents and parents in law, and the five languages of love. We felt we had a good marriage and do truly love each other but this showed us God wanted our marriage to be so much better and our love for one another to be deeper.

We took our holiday in France again this year. It was Sarah-Jane that found us a place to go- The Jura Mountains near Geneva. The Jura region is really the foot hills of the Alps.

We have up to now flew and hired a car when we arrived, but this year we decided we would drive down and have a stop off part way. The stop off was just outside Paris. We booked with a company called Canvas Holidays. They seemed to be the cheapest for the place we had chosen. We hired a mobile home. It was the biggest one we had ever had and was quite luxurious. Unfortunately though, it rained all the time. To top it all I felt a little under attack spiritually, and so my mood was not helped by it constantly raining. We were able to do things though. I felt particularly proud of the number of walks across the region Andrea and I were able to take. We seem so much fitter now that we both cycle to work. The scenery was lovely and was not spoiled by a bit of rain! During our time there we visited some spectacular water falls. We were even able to go behind one of them. We got very wet, but thankfully we both had good waterproof coats.

I normally am not good at finishing books once I start them, but recently I have just completed a book that has really been quite good. It is called "The Shack" It tells the story of a dad whose little girl gets taken by a sex offender and murdered. He returns to the scene of the murder and tries to deal with God why He should allow such things. I don't know if Ken has explained The Trinity to you, but this book's main theme is God in trinity. It is never easy to talk about a subject like that but I believe it has some good points to make. I will try and get a copy to you.

Whilst watching the revival on TV I felt I had been healed of Diabetes. I won't know for certain until I visit the doctor on July 7. Interestingly enough, though because I have been cycling to work most days I seem to have lost quite a bit of weight. I am now down to 14½ stone. This and continuing to eat healthily means I have recently felt so well.

We heard some sad news lately and it has given opportunity for us and the church to pray for the community. One family in Kid's Club had a brand new baby boy. The mum wanted to return to Bangladesh t show him off. Unfortunately she only had a Bangladeshi passport. On trying to return to this country she was stopped by immigration. We as a church prayed for her and praise Jesus, she was allowed back in.

Another member of Kid's Club said her father had had a serious stroke. He was taken to intensive care. We wanted to love and support the family and so we prayed. I felt from God I should go to the bedside to pray for healing and deliverance. I asked permission from the relatives. They said yes, fine, in fact they seemed quite enthusiastic. I went along with Andrea and a friend called Dez (short for Derek) and asked at the nurse’s station where he was. They directed us. He was no longer in intensive care but had been moved to a brain observation ward. The man's mother was there and she seemed quite moved we had prayed. We left them and went home. Later that week I felt we should pray by his bedside again. I took Andrea again and, because we had been there before I went straight in to the ward and to the bed we had been to before. He had no one with him this time and was being fed by the nurse. I was a bit concerned he had signs of surgery on his head, but I thought it is what was needed so didn't worry too much. I got down to praying for him again. I asked God for healing and deliverance once more and God to bless him. After we had prayed a nurse came up to us and asked if we had been here before.

"Of coarse", I said, "I was here Sunday"
"Oh, I think you mean that man over there." She said.
I had been praying for the wrong man! I was so embarrassed!

There, across the ward, was the mother again by her son’s bedside. We approached once again and offered to pray again. I felt so silly because where she was right by the security station and the security guards had been watching all this unfolding. They looked very disapproving with their arms folded watching me intently as I prayed for the right man this time.

We really love the Bangladeshi community and are really desperate to see God break in there.