Trust Issues

Many may not know that Andrea and I are friends with a Bengali girl in prison. we have been friends with her for a number of years. I have described on a previous blog how we met and how the friendship developed. And how she rang us up a number of years ago and left a message on our answering machine saying: “I am been born again!” She is in prison because she was convicted of murder. That is another story, suffice it to say God has really put her on our heart to lo love and accept her. We visit her from time to time when she is able to get Visiting Orders out to us. We had not seen her for quite a while, but recently we were able to see her. we saw that she was ding very well. She was still going on with God and know that God loves her and cares for her.

I write this blog to describe what has happened to us, and me in particular, and what God has been saying to me.

After we visited our friend in prison, in Holloway, we walked down the road and had a cup of tea and croissants in a little tea shop. As we were looking for our bus stop we noticed there was a market nearby. We decided to take a look. From the entrance it didn't look that big. But as we entered it opened out to be a huge market; It seemed you could get anything there.

I was thrilled to see all the people there. For as long as I can remember I have always enjoyed being with people. I think that is God's heart too. God loves people! God is eternal and did not have to create the world, and but He had so much love it spilled over and created us.

Surprisingly He enjoys our company. When we are there, sitting in our room, Jesus is with us. He’s listening with rapt attention to our praying.

I remember when I was sitting in my room once (quite a long time ago now, before I married Andrea) I felt a bit lonely at the time. Suddenly God seemed to speak to me. I saw a vision of God’s throne room. It was very big and very grand. The stairs leading up to the throne and God was there at the top. Surprisingly the place was empty with only me and God there. Then I felt God speak to me. “despite all you think I have to do and all that is going on, when you come into my presence, and talk to me, I listen to you. It is like you are on your own with me and you have my full attention.” I was shocked! Many a time in the past I would feel God was not listening to me and, as some have said, “heaven is like brass today.” meaning God is not receiving my prayer. Having heard God’s answer I realised that was never true. I had no choice but to believe it. From then on I never doubted God was listening to me.

You see, our Heavenly Father is not like us at all: He never changes, He never has mood swings or has a bad day. God is constant and consistent. That thought is a delight to remember.

The amazing thing - and it always astonishes me - that we have complete access to God’s very presence through Jesus. He welcomes us with open arms and delights to see us. It was Christ’s sacrifice: His giving of His life, that meant we can go and speak to Daddy with no fear. He will not reject us or think bad of us.



One of my favourite books of the Bible is The Book of Hebrews. I really recommend you read it if you haven't read it lately. It describes (much better I think) what I have just said. Jesus is the better way.

In many ways I love this big city of ours. Big cities are where the people are. And so, As I said earlier, God loves the big cities. Yes I know cities are dirty and noisy and full of traffic and rampant crime, but God, by His grace, will see this city and other cities changed.

I was just talking to a work colleague today on the bus on the way home. He described the chaos that may come about because of the Olympics. He said there would be millions visiting London in 2012, especially during the time the games are on. That means more dirt more traffic, and more disruption. But thinking about it, it would mean more people! More opportunity then to tell people about Jesus.

A couple Saturdays ago I had a barbecue for my birthday. We had a great time except it was rather rainy. It was forecast, but I had a cunning plan! I had a friend who had a gazebo which I asked to borrow. They said it would not be a problem. However, I had a knock on the door the day before the barbecue. I was surprised. The friend who I asked to borrow from actually bought me a new one!

The day itself went very well. We think around 50 to 60 came to the party all in all. Andrea was in her element. People told her later how happy she looked and how much she seemed to enjoy it. She said it was a bit of a blur and doesn't remember getting much to eat. I was standing by the barbecues of course (as that is the job of the man isn't it?). A few of the men friends joined me. People were coming and going; it was great! It was so good to see friends I hadn't seen for a while.

Andrea and I are getting a little excited. We are off to Cornwall next week. We bought a new tent and are going camping there. Last month we tried the tent out and it was fine. It is quite easy to put up and at least we can stand up in this one. I think we were getting to old to use our other low-lying tent.

It’s going to be a long drive, 6 hours according to Google maps.

We had visited Cornwall before, when the children were small. That time it took 12 hours. We only had a small car that had been loaned to us. Thinking back I am really wondering how we ever fitted three kids and all our camping gear in that small car. Now, I’m glad to say we have a bigger car that can easily take all our stuff. Of course the children are no longer with us, but we still tend to fill the car right up to the brim.

I have recently recovered from pneumonia. I was three days in hospital. The doctors had been worried for me and was surprised a little how quickly I returned to work. I still get a little tired if I do too much, so going away and just chilling by my tent will do me the world of good. Cornwall is very different from London and the change of scenery will be beneficial.

Recently, at church, we had been hearing about sharing ones faith to everyone we meet. Our Lead Elder, Mike, used an illustration giving us all a handful of sunflower seeds. He described how seeds don't look very big but when they are given away (or planted which is what you do with seeds) you don’t know what happens to them. So it with sharing your faith. Telling people about what Jesus has done for you or what He means to you. A seed is sown every time one says a small word here or a small word there. It is then up to God who (as the Bible says) “gives the increase” to make the seed grow. All we are asked to do is scatter the seed. A few of us started eating the seeds but we were encouraged to scatter them. So, as we did, it seemed to get the message across. It did make a bit of a mess on the carpet and we felt a bit sorry for the cleaner who would have to clean that lot up!

Kieren and Jenny are doing well and Mia is growing up fast. They too are off camping, but they are driving to the south of France. Now that is a long way! It is funny how things come around: They have only a small car and they have a baby and will have to find room in the car for luggage and the tent. Hmm.. I know how that feels!

Change - not always easy

Our granddaughter Mia is growing up fast. I can’t believe it was only 11 months ago that she was born. She is nearly walking now. She stands up and chatters away. Not with words anyone can understand except (I think) by her. Last week we went to her local city farm. Outside are some bronze animals like ducks and goats. She really enjoyed standing by them.

Church for the City, the Church Andrea and I go to, has gone through some major changes recently. After setting up a church in Stratford in Newham, East London, over a year ago, And with quite a lot of the congregation going to join them. It was felt we should, as a church, continue to “plant out” more churches. So, yet again, we sent a group of people to set up a church in Bow. Quite a few people went to part of that as well. The leadership of the original church of Church for The City felt we should change the area we should concentrate on and move to Shoreditch. We now meet on the 7th floor of a plush hotel.

These changes have been a little unsettling for me. I am an outgoing person and enjoy being with lots of people. With the number of people in the church dwindling, it felt that less people were there to interact with. I got quite upset and down. The people that did stay in the Church for The City were quite young and had only joined the church in the last eighteen months. That meant they did not really know me that well and did not remember my history. Some from the other churches do but I no longer see them on a regular basis. They have their own church now and are independent.

It was made further difficult for me when the pastor felt a few of the jobs I had been doing were given to others to give them a chance to learn and blossom. It took some time but I finally saw the wisdom of what was said and what was happening. I realised that instead of me “doing it all” and fearing it would collapse if I did not do these things, I should “let go” of them and trust Jesus to take care of business. After all, it is His church. Now, because Andrea and I live in Stepney, I have the job of encouraging those that have a heart for Stepney and Whitechapel, to pray and seek eventually to “plant” a church of our own.

Last week, over Easter, we were able to go to Germany again to see our son Richard. This is the second time we have gone. The first was in October with all the gorgeous autumn colours. Now it was spring and I was looking forward to seeing the trees in their spring growth, hearing the birds sing and see the flowers.

When Richard had first gone to Germany to live I was very reluctant to visit him. I don’t know why. Maybe it was the cost of the air fare or being a strange country with a different culture, but now I have been it no longer holds any difficulties for me. In fact I really enjoy going. Berlin, in its own way, is quite similar to London. With a good transport system and bustling crowds; I felt right at home.

The week before though, I had a bout of Gastric Flu. This really messed up my blood sugars. I have to be a bit careful because of my Diabetes. Even though while I was ill I had not eaten for over 24 hours, my sugars were quite high. I went to the doctor who promptly sent me to A&E to be seen. She was worried for me with what she found in the urine sample I had to provide. I was seen quite quickly and after much investigation they were satisfied it was not as serious as first feared. They told me to report back to my doctor again. After all this I was left quite exhausted. When I did return to her she told me to be off work for two weeks. This surprised me a little and I had this flight to Germany. I told her and she said that was fine and to have a nice time.

Because I was ill I could not be at the Easter feast meal I had planned at my work with my Christian Union. I really wanted to bless people who worked at my place of work whether Christian or not. I wanted to show them the Grace of God. When I originally planned it I discussed it with my group. They were enthusiastic. It is really surprising God has made me leader of the group of Christians at my work. Anyway I could not be there. I was glad to hear they took on the challenge of getting the food organised and getting people invited. They told me afterwards how good the event was. I wondered why God had allowed me to be ill and for me not to be there. I think it was all part of what I said earlier that the world does not revolve around me. It’s all about Him not me.

Times Past

Last Sunday I had a very interesting day. I had regained contact with someone I had not seen for over 35 years.

Susie Harrington had written to me via email after I expressed thanks to her parents for looking after me and taking me into their home when I was 18.

When I was 16 I was ejected from my mother’s home and had to fend for myself as far as accommodation was concerned.

After two years of moving from place to place I was offered to come and live with the pastor of my church I was going to then. All I can say was that I was a very disruptive and maladjusted person and in many ways still quite childish. Susie was probably 14 or15 at the time when her
parents took me in. They showed great kindness and sacrifice.

When I got the email I was surprised and a little scared. This was my past catching up with me. Yes I had written to her parents expressing my gratitude for what they had done, but did not expect to hear from Susie.

After a while we arranged a time when Andrea and I could visit them. She had told me they are now Leaders of a church in Maldon and it was last Sunday we went to see them.

Remembering what I was like I felt a bit shy and a little ashamed as I drove with Andrea to Maldon to visit their church and spend lunch with them.

The church met in Maldon’s town hall. I envisaged an old ornate building but what we found it was quite a modern brick building.

The service was lively and worshipful. The trouble with being in a new place which I didn't know is I felt a little out of place at first.

Both Trevor and Susie are busy people and when the service finished many people sought their attention. I understood and went to get a cup of tea from the cafe bar. People do tend to talk to one another who they know but Hazel got chatting to Andrea. After a While we got chatting to Les. He was an old boy from the East End He knew of our road and one of the shops on the corner where we live being a sweet shop. (I think it’s a mobile phone shop now).

Andrea and I were invited back to Susie’s for Sunday dinner. I was still a little unsure and nervous. “What must she think of me?” I thought. Why was I thinking like this? God had done so much in my life. He had changed me from that person.

I had deliberately arranged to meet them purely to deal with the past. And yet, for a while, the past seemed to dominate my thinking. Many times, in the past, I would blurt out and over react to what I was thinking but this time I was determined to keep a lid on my emotions. Things were not helped when I cleared the table I had broken one of the glasses. I apologised profusely. In the past this would have left me quite embarrassed and down about it but after a reassuring word or two from Susie it was soon forgotten.

Like Andrea and I, all their children had grown up and had fled the nest, but they were always keen to entertain and welcome people into their home; so another family had joined us. Karen and Wayne were one of the new Christians Trevor and Susie had seen come through to faith in
the eight years since moving to Maldon and planting the church. Karen listened with interest the story of how God had given us our new home in Stepney.

I was listening to myself telling this story as well. I realised I had nothing to fear. Yes God my Father had blessed me and Andrea over the years and we were safe in his hands.

It was time to go so we took our leave of them.

On the drive home Andrea and I talked the day through together. I am so glad I am married to her. She has been a great help to me.

I think this day was an important day for me and a valuable lesson too. I need not to fear or worry what people think of me and be confident in what God had done in my life. Thank you Daddy!

Christmas and other stuff

We have settled in well into our new place. It has been a few months now since we moved in. Andrea and I still think it is like living in a holiday place. We are just astonished at God’s blessing and provision for us.

We had a house warming party. People came and went but all in all we had over 80 people turn up. It was a great time and I felt very privileged at the number of people who consider me there friend.

Many have known us for a very long time and have been looking for us to move to the East End of London so we're celebrating with us the open door that had come along.

The church that we go to has changed. Some 18 months ago the church felt right we should have a separate congregation meet in Stratford. And then we felt have a church set up in Bow and now, from January, we are having three separate congregations Stratford, Bow and Shoredich; Andrea and me are joining the Shoreditch congregation.

Kieren and Jenny had a little baby girl back in June meaning we are Grandparents. Mia is growing well and already she is sitting up she is able to turn herself over. It won’t be long before she is crawling and “walking round the furniture”.

All our family stayed in a rented cottage in Hunstanton in Norfolk over the Christmas period. , Richard flew from Berlin, what with all the snow we were getting worried if ever they would be able to make it.

Andrea’s parents are getting frail so were unable to transport themselves to this cottage. I got to theirs by train and drive their car to the cottage. Andrea’s mother was quite grateful that I offered to do this, otherwise they would have been left out.

The cottage, (well it is a large house really) slept 12 people and had 6 bedrooms. It was ideal for us to stay in over Christmas. It was very reasonably priced as well. It was Fiona, Richard’s wife, that did the hard work and found it on the Internet. My family are good bunch but, when we do get together, we do tend to be a bit loud.

The Journey home was quite interesting. I drove Andrea’s mum and dad back and stayed over night there. I caught the train from Clacton to London. All went well until the train stopped between stations. Apparently the train in front of us had inadvertently pulled down power lines. We were going nowhere! It took over three hours to solve the problem.

At my work we have been worried about the cuts and how it will affect our jobs. I am glad though as the boss says we are not expecting to cut jobs until at least 2012. This was a relief.

Andrea too was a little worried. She only works for a small charity who make tapestries. There is less demand now so work has dried up a little. She wanted to continue to express faith to God and was reminded of the verse in the Bible

“ 17 Fig trees may not grow figs,
and there may be no grapes on the vines.
There may be no olives growing
and no food growing in the fields.
There may be no sheep in the pens
and no cattle in the barns.
18 But I will still be glad in the Lord;
I will rejoice in God my Savior.
19 The Lord God is my strength.
He makes me like a deer that does not stumble
so I can walk on the steep mountains.(Habakkuk 3 17-19)

Later on in the month though, God seemed to speak to her from her daily reading of the Bible from Ezekiel 34 v 25-27

25 ‘I will make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of savage beasts so that they may live in the wilderness and sleep in the forests in safety. 26 I will make them and the places surrounding my hill a blessing.[a] I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing. 27 The trees will yield their fruit and the ground will yield its crops; the people will be secure in their land. They will know that I am the LORD, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them.”

Andrea does not normally get things like this happen to her so she felt it was special. She was encouraged to continue to have faith in God and know He will take care of us as a couple.

In lots of ways it is quite similar to what God spoke to me many years ago from the Book of Isaiah

“Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail. (Isaiah 58 8-11)

I think God has a lot planned for us. I believe many of these words have already been fulfilled in us. We have been a blessing to many people. We have seen God use us to change and affect lots of people’s lives we have come into contact with.

A Story worth telling

For many years (12 years I calculate) Andrea and I have been trying to live in the east end of London. We wanted to do this as we had been part of a church that had been working in the area for most of that time.

We had been living in Bermondsey and the only option open to us was home swap (mutual exchange in other words).

For innumerable times we’d place adverts in shops and housing offices to see if people would like to swap to our property. Many came and had a look. - We had a three bedroom property that the council had given us 25 years ago. But, either the Thames river was too much of a divide, or if people did accept then the council would refuse because too many wanted to come into the small flat or the people were in rent arrears. We could not buy either because of our age and could not get a mortgage.

I lost heart after too many disappointments.

I kept trying the only option open to us - swapping and felt I should explore the Chrisp Street market area of Poplar. We had a look around and I loved the vibrancy and dynamic of the people there.

I did not know how to proceed, I was stuck. If I advertised again I feared I would be disappointed. Then one of the church leaders (Mark) told me he felt from God I should try once more. “Had you any idea where you think you should try?”, he asked. I told him of my thoughts on Chrisp Street Market.

Hearing his encouragement it spurred me to put cards and posters in the shops of that area hoping people would ring up to swap. Most were very willing at no charge to have posters up. One newsagent however said it cost £1 per week to place a card in the window. I duly paid for one week and waited for the responses.

Indeed quite a lot of people did ring offering many different types of properties. One did look promising. It was a 3 bedroom maisonette on the first floor. It was OK and I got a bit excited about it. Andrea was concerned for the cats that would be able to get out. She had visions of me chucking the cats out of the window to let them out. Because of her lack of enthusiasm I tended to drag my feet and the lady whose flat it was got impatient and dropped out. I think she was quite justified to do so. So, back to square one.

Meanwhile the card in the newsagent that I had paid a £1 for was still there ten weeks later. It was this card the lady of our new address had seen when she was visiting Chrisp Street market seeking to swap herself. Her husband rang saying they had seen the card.

By now the church I attend was in the middle of deciding to change locations and move further west. And although properties around Chrisp Street would have been OK for my work I felt it was no longer where God wanted us.

He mentioned he had seen the card in Chrisp Street Market and was interested in swapping. I quickly dismissed him say we no longer wished to live near Chrisp Street. “Oh no” he said “this is further west in Stepney” “Hmm OK,” I thought, and listened further.

He explained how his wife wanted to live near her sister and the girl there wanted to move to Bermondsey where we lived. This sounded complicated. We arranged a visit and loved the place. It was a ground floor maisonette with a garden in the heart of Stepney. In fact, it was right opposite where our good friend Alison had lived but she had recently got married and moved to Leicester. So we all agreed. The girl who was to move to ours was happy with our place too but she was effectively moving to a smaller place - still three bedrooms but smaller. The Council threw a few obstacles in our way, but after we over came them they agreed for it to go through.

We met the couple who’s house we were moving to go to the housing association offices to sign tenancies. The forms and questions were phenomenal. We were not used to it as we had not moved for over 25 years. After signing I knew it was for real and was irreversible.

All was completed and we agreed a moving date. The moving date was a bit later than we had originally thought as the couple was going on a barge holiday to Norfolk. This put it back a little but allowed us to pack and sort things out in the flat we were leaving. The girl moving to ours had already packed and left her place empty and went to her caravan in Clacton for the summer so wasn’t in a hurry to get to ours.

So moving day arrived. We had heard a neighbour was a removal man so the quote he gave us was quite reasonable. He had got the contract for the couple in Stepney too. The trouble was because they had gone away just prior to moving the had not packed and so were quite unprepared for the moving day. This gave us quite a good time to clear and sort things out and not feel rushed or pressurised. But the problem was about to get worse. They did not finish moving the others until gone 7pm. This meant the removers could only start with the larger items from our flat. The poor lads, they had started quite early and had many problems with the couples stuff. By 9:30 in the evening they were ready to take our second load but they look so tired and washed out I told the to come back another day. Again it all seemed fine in the hands of God as it allowed us to get a bit settled in before all the fiddly stuff came. We had placed a lot of stuff like books and our camping gear into storage, so when that comes out there will be even more uproar!

We are so happy at this new place. We feel really blessed by God. At time of writing we have the decorators in. Our daughter was able to get some paint from council refuse department. Trade painters pass on to the council any they don’t finish. We are very pleased with the colours and seem to have just been waiting for us to use. It’s a shame though we were just getting settled and the uproar. And then, when that is all over, we have to get what we placed into storage. More boxes to unpack!

God has provided and has blessed us and seems to be involved in every aspect of our move. We are so grateful.

Momentous events

Andrea and I have become grandparents! It just wonderful. Kieren and his wife Jenny are the mum and dad and they are pleased as anything, they are so proud.

As you know we go to a church in the east end of London in Bethnal Green, and we have been trying to move from where we live now to not far from the church. This has been our goal for nearly twelve years. Well recently, after being discouraged and not really looking, we have had someone interested in swapping with us. They live in Stepney not far from Genesis Cinema (if you remember where that is). It is a two bedroom ground floor maisonette. This is a bit smaller but as we have no children living with us any more the size won't be a problem. It does have a garden though which Andrea is glad of. These things always take time and we we are waiting on the council to process our application.

Trip to Rainham

Andrea (my wife) and I went to Rainham Marshes RSPP on the Sataurday. When we arrived we were told of of a Ring Ouzel so we headed to where it was last seen. Andrea saw it but I was too busy scanninig with binoculars to have caught it.

We were glad though, the Rainham woods were alive with song bird. Dunnock, Greenfinch and Cetti's Warbler were particualy songfull.