Steve Mc Musings

Summer Fun

2011-11-13T08:26:00.012Z

In August as planned we drove to Cornwall. It took a little longer than the six hours we had thought, nearer nine hours altogether, but taking into account of the stops along the way we did not do too bad.

Andrea even did some of the driving. I would have found it very tiring if I had ended up with me doing all the driving.

We got to there about 6pm. On entering the campsite I saw there was a food stall selling curry! That’s a good idea we thought. If we would have waited to eat until after the tent was put up it would have ended up quite late.

We was able to get a couple of plates and some cutlery out as I had packed them where they were accessible. The camp site itself was good quality and we enjoyed our stay there for the week.

We thoroughly enjoyed visiting various place including The Eden Project and The Lost Gardens of Helligan.

On one of the days we took a bit of a drive to most southerly point in Britain - The Lizard peninsula. We took a walk around and viewed all the lovely rugged scenery. I was hoping to see a particular bird called the Chough, a member of the crow family, but disappointingly it di

d not show.

On the way back I got Andrea to drive. The roads are not that wide around there so Andrea felt a little intimidated by the oncoming traffic. Suddenly a large lorry on the other side of the road came towards us. He seemed oblivious of the speed he was doing. Andrea thought she

could swerve onto the grass verge to avoid it, but it turned out there was no grass verge but only what looked like a grass verge. Instead, behind it, was a wall made of local granite!

BANG! It was an awful sound. We pulled into a drive way and surveyed the damage. We had not hit the lorry but we thought we had damaged the wing. As it turned out we had only clipped the tyre and caused it to blow.

I am glad to say we have free breakdown with our bank

account. Normally it be easy to change a tyre but on this car the seems to be extra precautions so any spare tyre cannot be stolen. therefore it was down to to recovery to all the hard work.

The particular driveway we had chosen (or had chosen for us) was, I am glad to say, well out of the way of the busy road. No one seemed to be in so we were not told off.

It only took half an hour for the recovery to arriv

e, so that wasn’t too bad. He struggled and pushed and shoved eventually the wheel got changed

In the meantime the owners of the house arrived home. They were surprised to see us in their driveway. After explaining to them what had happened they told us it happens all the time on this road. That made us feel a it better and not so stupid. We got back to our tent at the campsite glad that God had looked after us.

After being at this particular camp site for one week it was time for us to break camp and move to a new site nearer to Land’s End. We had to take down the tent in the rain. It was quite heavy rain and we both got very wet.

We drove through Penzance and stopped for lunch at the beach there. It was lovely.

We arrived at the new site in the afternoon. The weather was a little different here. It was sunny but there were more clouds and a little bit cooler.

The site itself was a lot more exposed and we had to put up the tent in a bit of a breeze. this helped dry out the tent. The

re were thundery showers rattling around but did dod get to us. What was nice though was we could see the sunset over the sea. Although the site was not right on the beach we still had a good view of the sea. And every night we were able to see glorious sunsets.

Of course, while there, we had to visit Land’s End itself. The car park was only a m

atter of 15 minutes drive from the camp site. But to park there costs £5.00! Still, we intended to stay a while, so we handed the money over.

Having parked up, the distance to the furthest edge of England wasn't that far. We had to go through the usual tourist shops but our focus was further on.

There were lots of people doing the same as us: taking photos, peering at the scenery, etc. The scenery was indeed great.

Just off the coast was a rock formation called Shark Fin Rock. I didn't know this and

made the mistake of thinking it was a real shark!

Another place we visited was St. Michael’s Mount. This is an island castle off the coast of Penzance. Here is a write up about it:

“Dominating Mounts Bay is St Michael’s Mount, which rises majestically almost 230 feet from sea level to the tower, chapel and battlement of the

castle. Situated approximately 500 yards offshore the Mount is reached by small ferry boats which ply between Marazion and the Mount's harbour.

The grandeur and wealth of history of St Michael’s Mount, with its fairy tale castle, make it a unique attraction in Britain.

An island at high tide, from the great flood in 3000 BC, the Mount is now a treasure of the National Trust. It features a harbour, shops and a restaurant, "The Sail Loft". The castle and gardens are open to the public some days and details can be obtained from the Tourist Information Centres.”

It was a lovely sunny day so we parked the car nearby and walked on to the beach. The sea was warm as we walked along the edge of the surf. There were quite a few people on the beach. Children playing in the sand and splashing in the water. I took my sandals off and and enjoyed the sand beneath my feet. Andrea was busy taking photos.

There was a river that came onto the beach and we had to cross it before we got to the causeway leading to the island. As we approached the children were playing in the water. It did not look that deep, maybe it would up to my knees I thought. I was bare footed and had shorts on so I wasn't that worried. I took some precautions making sure cameras and stuff were well out of the way by hold them above my head. Surprisingly the water was getting deeper and deeper until, in the middle, it almost reached the top of my thighs! Still we got through and stepped onto the causeway.

This causeway is available to walk on when the tide is out. It leads right out to the island. I think it was constructed a long time ago and is made of great big flag stones. We probably were there at the best time because we would not need to worry about the tide unil some three

and a half hours later.

As we arrived on to the island I saw the castle was right up the top of the island and it looked a very steep climb. We took our time to tackle it and sat and had an ice cream first. It was lovely Cornish Ice cream and quite delicious.

So onwards and upwards we went. I am glad to say the climb was not as difficult as I had feared and and so we reach the top fairly quickly. The view from the top was spectacular! Looking right across the bay, to the beach we had just come from, every thing looked small. The town of Penzance, with it’s quaint white painted houses and shops, glistened in the sunshine.

Everyone of course was taking photos. We met a couple who were taking pictures of one another, so I offered them to take them together. In return they took a pictures of me and Andrea.

The Island and the castle on top are all part of The National Trust. We are members so were able to have a tour of the castle. There was love paintings and lovely furniture to look at and admire. And it even had it’s own church that is still in use for people to attend.

Getting down the hill, though seemingly easier, there was still need to be careful as the path had big stones which we had to step on slowly.

We did not need to cross the river to get back to the car as we went a different route through the town.

When we got back to the car park we sat by the car for a while having a cup of tea fro

m the flask. We noticed a man scanning the horizon with binoculars. We said hi and we got chatting. The conversation turned to what birds we had seen recently. He described how only yesterday he had seen a very rare bird called the Western Bonelli’s Warbler. This bird, we found out, was very near our campsite. We made plans the very next day to try and see it.

Going out to find and see a rare bird was not our normal thing. But, as it was so near to where we were staying, it was worth the effort. We drove the 10 minutes to a small village and parked up. There was a bit of a walk along a quiet road where we found others with telescopes and binoculars looking for it. And there it was amongst the planted pine trees. It wasn't much to look at but, the fact it was unique to mainland Britain, made it quite special.

And so it was the end of our Cornish holiday. We packed up and made it on our way. I decided a more direct way home and not to use the motorways as we had found out the was a bit of traffic on them.

It may seem that all we have done this year is have holidays, because in October we were able to have a holiday in Cyprus. Our daughter Sarah-Jane has access to a free villa there. All we had to do is pay for flights. She has been going there herself for a couple of years now and has even got Andrea to go with her. I was reluctant to go in the past as the 4 hour flight seemed a long time.

Going to Cyprus was the furthest from home I had ever been. Cyprus is 2 hours ahead.

We landed quite late at night but Pathos seems to have quite a good bus service. I was reluctant to take a cab as the distance to the villa was about 13 kilometres away . So we caught two buses.

While on the bus it was raining quite heavily. This, we feared, did not bode well for the rest of the week. However when we finally arrived at the villa at around 11:30pm the rain had stopped.

The villa was within the main night club area of the region and music was already blaring forth. We thought it best if we went straight to bed. But as the temperature was still very warm, even at that time, we had to keep the windows open. This meant we were “entertained” by Elvis and other tribute acts. The first night then, was a little difficult. It finally calmed down at around 3 in the morning. The temperature and humidity were still quite high so I was glad of a fan in my room. Andrea and Sara-Jane had another room and I slept alone. Good thing too, probably, as I do have tendency to snore!

I awoke to the sound of birds chirping. The rain and cloud of the previous night had completely disappeared and there was sparkling sunshine; all was quiet and it certainly wasn't cold.

So, what to do on our first day? We decided to go to the local beach. This was about 15 minutes walk away. Coral Bay beach is reputed to be the best beach in Cyprus. The beach indeed was lovely. We all took a swim in the lovely warm Mediterranean water.

I am afraid we would be here all week if I detailed all that we did in Cyprus. But here are a few highlights.

Andrea and I took a walk up the hills nearby while Sarah-Jane sat by the pool of a local hotel. We got a bit lost, but eventually we did complete the circular walk as described in a local guide book.

We took a trip the the ruins in Pathos itself. Although interesting, I was more interested in the birds there.

A coach trip to the north of the island where the views were lovely through the mountains.And for not much money ether.

We had look at a church that was at the place that St Paul visited as told in Acts of the Apostles in the Bible (Acts 13)

The flight home was at a reasonable time and was was quite uneventful. and so we got home with no problem.

The time difference did affect us a little and for the next few days I found it difficult to get up at normal time as Andrea and I kept waking up around 4 in the morning

.

Trust Issues

2011-08-08T19:44:00.000+01:00

Many may not know that Andrea and I are friends with a Bengali girl in prison. we have been friends with her for a number of years. I have described on a previous blog how we met and how the friendship developed. And how she rang us up a number of years ago and left a message on our answering machine saying: “I am been born again!” She is in prison because she was convicted of murder. That is another story, suffice it to say God has really put her on our heart to lo love and accept her. We visit her from time to time when she is able to get Visiting Orders out to us. We had not seen her for quite a while, but recently we were able to see her. we saw that she was ding very well. She was still going on with God and know that God loves her and cares for her.

I write this blog to describe what has happened to us, and me in particular, and what God has been saying to me.

After we visited our friend in prison, in Holloway, we walked down the road and had a cup of tea and croissants in a little tea shop. As we were looking for our bus stop we noticed there was a market nearby. We decided to take a look. From the entrance it didn't look that big. But as we entered it opened out to be a huge market; It seemed you could get anything there.

I was thrilled to see all the people there. For as long as I can remember I have always enjoyed being with people. I think that is God's heart too. God loves people! God is eternal and did not have to create the world, and but He had so much love it spilled over and created us.

Surprisingly He enjoys our company. When we are there, sitting in our room, Jesus is with us. He’s listening with rapt attention to our praying.

I remember when I was sitting in my room once (quite a long time ago now, before I married Andrea) I felt a bit lonely at the time. Suddenly God seemed to speak to me. I saw a vision of God’s throne room. It was very big and very grand. The stairs leading up to the throne and God was there at the top. Surprisingly the place was empty with only me and God there. Then I felt God speak to me. “despite all you think I have to do and all that is going on, when you come into my presence, and talk to me, I listen to you. It is like you are on your own with me and you have my full attention.” I was shocked! Many a time in the past I would feel God was not listening to me and, as some have said, “heaven is like brass today.” meaning God is not receiving my prayer. Having heard God’s answer I realised that was never true. I had no choice but to believe it. From then on I never doubted God was listening to me.

You see, our Heavenly Father is not like us at all: He never changes, He never has mood swings or has a bad day. God is constant and consistent. That thought is a delight to remember.

The amazing thing - and it always astonishes me - that we have complete access to God’s very presence through Jesus. He welcomes us with open arms and delights to see us. It was Christ’s sacrifice: His giving of His life, that meant we can go and speak to Daddy with no fear. He will not reject us or think bad of us.

One of my favourite books of the Bible is The Book of Hebrews. I really recommend you read it if you haven't read it lately. It describes (much better I think) what I have just said. Jesus is the better way.

In many ways I love this big city of ours. Big cities are where the people are. And so, As I said earlier, God loves the big cities. Yes I know cities are dirty and noisy and full of traffic and rampant crime, but God, by His grace, will see this city and other cities changed.

I was just talking to a work colleague today on the bus on the way home. He described the chaos that may come about because of the Olympics. He said there would be millions visiting London in 2012, especially during the time the games are on. That means more dirt more traffic, and more disruption. But thinking about it, it would mean more people! More opportunity then to tell people about Jesus.

A couple Saturdays ago I had a barbecue for my birthday. We had a great time except it was rather rainy. It was forecast, but I had a cunning plan! I had a friend who had a gazebo which I asked to borrow. They said it would not be a problem. However, I had a knock on the door the day before the barbecue. I was surprised. The friend who I asked to borrow from actually bought me a new one!

The day itself went very well. We think around 50 to 60 came to the party all in all. Andrea was in her element. People told her later how happy she looked and how much she seemed to enjoy it. She said it was a bit of a blur and doesn't remember getting much to eat. I was standing by the barbecues of course (as that is the job of the man isn't it?). A few of the men friends joined me. People were coming and going; it was great! It was so good to see friends I hadn't seen for a while.

Andrea and I are getting a little excited. We are off to Cornwall next week. We bought a new tent and are going camping there. Last month we tried the tent out and it was fine. It is quite easy to put up and at least we can stand up in this one. I think we were getting to old to use our other low-lying tent.

It’s going to be a long drive, 6 hours according to Google maps.

We had visited Cornwall before, when the children were small. That time it took 12 hours. We only had a small car that had been loaned to us. Thinking back I am really wondering how we ever fitted three kids and all our camping gear in that small car. Now, I’m glad to say we have a bigger car that can easily take all our stuff. Of course the children are no longer with us, but we still tend to fill the car right up to the brim.

I have recently recovered from pneumonia. I was three days in hospital. The doctors had been worried for me and was surprised a little how quickly I returned to work. I still get a little tired if I do too much, so going away and just chilling by my tent will do me the world of good. Cornwall is very different from London and the change of scenery will be beneficial.

Recently, at church, we had been hearing about sharing ones faith to everyone we meet. Our Lead Elder, Mike, used an illustration giving us all a handful of sunflower seeds. He described how seeds don't look very big but when they are given away (or planted which is what you do with seeds) you don’t know what happens to them. So it with sharing your faith. Telling people about what Jesus has done for you or what He means to you. A seed is sown every time one says a small word here or a small word there. It is then up to God who (as the Bible says) “gives the increase” to make the seed grow. All we are asked to do is scatter the seed. A few of us started eating the seeds but we were encouraged to scatter them. So, as we did, it seemed to get the message across. It did make a bit of a mess on the carpet and we felt a bit sorry for the cleaner who would have to clean that lot up!

Kieren and Jenny are doing well and Mia is growing up fast. They too are off camping, but they are driving to the south of France. Now that is a long way! It is funny how things come around: They have only a small car and they have a baby and will have to find room in the car for luggage and the tent. Hmm.. I know how that feels!

Change - not always easy

2011-05-07T22:14:00.009+01:00

Our granddaughter Mia is growing up fast. I can’t believe it was only 11 months ago that she was born. She is nearly walking now. She stands up and chatters away. Not with words anyone can understand except (I think) by her. Last week we went to her local city farm. Outside are some bronze animals like ducks and goats. She really enjoyed standing by them.

Church for the City, the Church Andrea and I go to, has gone through some major changes recently. After setting up a church in Stratford in Newham, East London, over a year ago, And with quite a lot of the congregation going to join them. It was felt we should, as a church, continue to “plant out” more churches. So, yet again, we sent a group of people to set up a church in Bow. Quite a few people went to part of that as well. The leadership of the original church of Church for The City felt we should change the area we should concentrate on and move to Shoreditch. We now meet on the 7th floor of a plush hotel.

These changes have been a little unsettling for me. I am an outgoing person and enjoy being with lots of people. With the number of people in the church dwindling, it felt that less people were there to interact with. I got quite upset and down. The people that did stay in the Church for The City were quite young and had only joined the church in the last eighteen months. That meant they did not really know me that well and did not remember my history. Some from the other churches do but I no longer see them on a regular basis. They have their own church now and are independent.

It was made further difficult for me when the pastor felt a few of the jobs I had been doing were given to others to give them a chance to learn and blossom. It took some time but I finally saw the wisdom of what was said and what was happening. I realised that instead of me “doing it all” and fearing it would collapse if I did not do these things, I should “let go” of them and trust Jesus to take care of business. After all, it is His church. Now, because Andrea and I live in Stepney, I have the job of encouraging those that have a heart for Stepney and Whitechapel, to pray and seek eventually to “plant” a church of our own.

Last week, over Easter, we were able to go to Germany again to see our son Richard. This is the second time we have gone. The first was in October with all the gorgeous autumn colours. Now it was spring and I was looking forward to seeing the trees in their spring growth, hearing the birds sing and see the flowers.

When Richard had first gone to Germany to live I was very reluctant to visit him. I don’t know why. Maybe it was the cost of the air fare or being a strange country with a different culture, but now I have been it no longer holds any difficulties for me. In fact I really enjoy going. Berlin, in its own way, is quite similar to London. With a good transport system and bustling crowds; I felt right at home.

The week before though, I had a bout of Gastric Flu. This really messed up my blood sugars. I have to be a bit careful because of my Diabetes. Even though while I was ill I had not eaten for over 24 hours, my sugars were quite high. I went to the doctor who promptly sent me to A&E to be seen. She was worried for me with what she found in the urine sample I had to provide. I was seen quite quickly and after much investigation they were satisfied it was not as serious as first feared. They told me to report back to my doctor again. After all this I was left quite exhausted. When I did return to her she told me to be off work for two weeks. This surprised me a little and I had this flight to Germany. I told her and she said that was fine and to have a nice time.

Because I was ill I could not be at the Easter feast meal I had planned at my work with my Christian Union. I really wanted to bless people who worked at my place of work whether Christian or not. I wanted to show them the Grace of God. When I originally planned it I discussed it with my group. They were enthusiastic. It is really surprising God has made me leader of the group of Christians at my work. Anyway I could not be there. I was glad to hear they took on the challenge of getting the food organised and getting people invited. They told me afterwards how good the event was. I wondered why God had allowed me to be ill and for me not to be there. I think it was all part of what I said earlier that the world does not revolve around me. It’s all about Him not me.

Times Past

2011-02-24T23:24:00.004Z

Last Sunday I had a very interesting day. I had regained contact with someone I had not seen for over 35 years.

Susie Harrington had written to me via email after I expressed thanks to her parents for looking after me and taking me into their home when I was 18.

When I was 16 I was ejected from my mother’s home and had to fend for myself as far as accommodation was concerned.

After two years of moving from place to place I was offered to come and live with the pastor of my church I was going to then. All I can say was that I was a very disruptive and maladjusted person and in many ways still quite childish. Susie was probably 14 or15 at the time when her
parents took me in. They showed great kindness and sacrifice.

When I got the email I was surprised and a little scared. This was my past catching up with me. Yes I had written to her parents expressing my gratitude for what they had done, but did not expect to hear from Susie.

After a while we arranged a time when Andrea and I could visit them. She had told me they are now Leaders of a church in Maldon and it was last Sunday we went to see them.

Remembering what I was like I felt a bit shy and a little ashamed as I drove with Andrea to Maldon to visit their church and spend lunch with them.

The church met in Maldon’s town hall. I envisaged an old ornate building but what we found it was quite a modern brick building.

The service was lively and worshipful. The trouble with being in a new place which I didn't know is I felt a little out of place at first.

Both Trevor and Susie are busy people and when the service finished many people sought their attention. I understood and went to get a cup of tea from the cafe bar. People do tend to talk to one another who they know but Hazel got chatting to Andrea. After a While we got chatting to Les. He was an old boy from the East End He knew of our road and one of the shops on the corner where we live being a sweet shop. (I think it’s a mobile phone shop now).

Andrea and I were invited back to Susie’s for Sunday dinner. I was still a little unsure and nervous. “What must she think of me?” I thought. Why was I thinking like this? God had done so much in my life. He had changed me from that person.

I had deliberately arranged to meet them purely to deal with the past. And yet, for a while, the past seemed to dominate my thinking. Many times, in the past, I would blurt out and over react to what I was thinking but this time I was determined to keep a lid on my emotions. Things were not helped when I cleared the table I had broken one of the glasses. I apologised profusely. In the past this would have left me quite embarrassed and down about it but after a reassuring word or two from Susie it was soon forgotten.

Like Andrea and I, all their children had grown up and had fled the nest, but they were always keen to entertain and welcome people into their home; so another family had joined us. Karen and Wayne were one of the new Christians Trevor and Susie had seen come through to faith in
the eight years since moving to Maldon and planting the church. Karen listened with interest the story of how God had given us our new home in Stepney.

I was listening to myself telling this story as well. I realised I had nothing to fear. Yes God my Father had blessed me and Andrea over the years and we were safe in his hands.

It was time to go so we took our leave of them.

On the drive home Andrea and I talked the day through together. I am so glad I am married to her. She has been a great help to me.

I think this day was an important day for me and a valuable lesson too. I need not to fear or worry what people think of me and be confident in what God had done in my life. Thank you Daddy!

Christmas and other stuff

2011-01-24T22:50:00.005Z

We have settled in well into our new place. It has been a few months now since we moved in. Andrea and I still think it is like living in a holiday place. We are just astonished at God’s blessing and provision for us.

We had a house warming party. People came and went but all in all we had over 80 people turn up. It was a great time and I felt very privileged at the number of people who consider me there friend.

Many have known us for a very long time and have been looking for us to move to the East End of London so we're celebrating with us the open door that had come along.

The church that we go to has changed. Some 18 months ago the church felt right we should have a separate congregation meet in Stratford. And then we felt have a church set up in Bow and now, from January, we are having three separate congregations Stratford, Bow and Shoredich; Andrea and me are joining the Shoreditch congregation.

Kieren and Jenny had a little baby girl back in June meaning we are Grandparents. Mia is growing well and already she is sitting up she is able to turn herself over. It won’t be long before she is crawling and “walking round the furniture”.

All our family stayed in a rented cottage in Hunstanton in Norfolk over the Christmas period. , Richard flew from Berlin, what with all the snow we were getting worried if ever they would be able to make it.

Andrea’s parents are getting frail so were unable to transport themselves to this cottage. I got to theirs by train and drive their car to the cottage. Andrea’s mother was quite grateful that I offered to do this, otherwise they would have been left out.

The cottage, (well it is a large house really) slept 12 people and had 6 bedrooms. It was ideal for us to stay in over Christmas. It was very reasonably priced as well. It was Fiona, Richard’s wife, that did the hard work and found it on the Internet. My family are good bunch but, when we do get together, we do tend to be a bit loud.

The Journey home was quite interesting. I drove Andrea’s mum and dad back and stayed over night there. I caught the train from Clacton to London. All went well until the train stopped between stations. Apparently the train in front of us had inadvertently pulled down power lines. We were going nowhere! It took over three hours to solve the problem.

At my work we have been worried about the cuts and how it will affect our jobs. I am glad though as the boss says we are not expecting to cut jobs until at least 2012. This was a relief.

Andrea too was a little worried. She only works for a small charity who make tapestries. There is less demand now so work has dried up a little. She wanted to continue to express faith to God and was reminded of the verse in the Bible

“ 17 Fig trees may not grow figs,
and there may be no grapes on the vines.
There may be no olives growing
and no food growing in the fields.
There may be no sheep in the pens
and no cattle in the barns.
18 But I will still be glad in the Lord;
I will rejoice in God my Savior.
19 The Lord God is my strength.
He makes me like a deer that does not stumble
so I can walk on the steep mountains.(Habakkuk 3 17-19)

Later on in the month though, God seemed to speak to her from her daily reading of the Bible from Ezekiel 34 v 25-27

25 ‘I will make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of savage beasts so that they may live in the wilderness and sleep in the forests in safety. 26 I will make them and the places surrounding my hill a blessing.[a] I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing. 27 The trees will yield their fruit and the ground will yield its crops; the people will be secure in their land. They will know that I am the LORD, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them.”

Andrea does not normally get things like this happen to her so she felt it was special. She was encouraged to continue to have faith in God and know He will take care of us as a couple.

In lots of ways it is quite similar to what God spoke to me many years ago from the Book of Isaiah

“Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail. (Isaiah 58 8-11)

I think God has a lot planned for us. I believe many of these words have already been fulfilled in us. We have been a blessing to many people. We have seen God use us to change and affect lots of people’s lives we have come into contact with.

A Story worth telling

2010-08-24T11:37:00.004+01:00

For many years (12 years I calculate) Andrea and I have been trying to live in the east end of London. We wanted to do this as we had been part of a church that had been working in the area for most of that time.

We had been living in Bermondsey and the only option open to us was home swap (mutual exchange in other words).

For innumerable times we’d place adverts in shops and housing offices to see if people would like to swap to our property. Many came and had a look. - We had a three bedroom property that the council had given us 25 years ago. But, either the Thames river was too much of a divide, or if people did accept then the council would refuse because too many wanted to come into the small flat or the people were in rent arrears. We could not buy either because of our age and could not get a mortgage.

I lost heart after too many disappointments.

I kept trying the only option open to us - swapping and felt I should explore the Chrisp Street market area of Poplar. We had a look around and I loved the vibrancy and dynamic of the people there.

I did not know how to proceed, I was stuck. If I advertised again I feared I would be disappointed. Then one of the church leaders (Mark) told me he felt from God I should try once more. “Had you any idea where you think you should try?”, he asked. I told him of my thoughts on Chrisp Street Market.

Hearing his encouragement it spurred me to put cards and posters in the shops of that area hoping people would ring up to swap. Most were very willing at no charge to have posters up. One newsagent however said it cost £1 per week to place a card in the window. I duly paid for one week and waited for the responses.

Indeed quite a lot of people did ring offering many different types of properties. One did look promising. It was a 3 bedroom maisonette on the first floor. It was OK and I got a bit excited about it. Andrea was concerned for the cats that would be able to get out. She had visions of me chucking the cats out of the window to let them out. Because of her lack of enthusiasm I tended to drag my feet and the lady whose flat it was got impatient and dropped out. I think she was quite justified to do so. So, back to square one.

Meanwhile the card in the newsagent that I had paid a £1 for was still there ten weeks later. It was this card the lady of our new address had seen when she was visiting Chrisp Street market seeking to swap herself. Her husband rang saying they had seen the card.

By now the church I attend was in the middle of deciding to change locations and move further west. And although properties around Chrisp Street would have been OK for my work I felt it was no longer where God wanted us.

He mentioned he had seen the card in Chrisp Street Market and was interested in swapping. I quickly dismissed him say we no longer wished to live near Chrisp Street. “Oh no” he said “this is further west in Stepney” “Hmm OK,” I thought, and listened further.

He explained how his wife wanted to live near her sister and the girl there wanted to move to Bermondsey where we lived. This sounded complicated. We arranged a visit and loved the place. It was a ground floor maisonette with a garden in the heart of Stepney. In fact, it was right opposite where our good friend Alison had lived but she had recently got married and moved to Leicester. So we all agreed. The girl who was to move to ours was happy with our place too but she was effectively moving to a smaller place - still three bedrooms but smaller. The Council threw a few obstacles in our way, but after we over came them they agreed for it to go through.

We met the couple who’s house we were moving to go to the housing association offices to sign tenancies. The forms and questions were phenomenal. We were not used to it as we had not moved for over 25 years. After signing I knew it was for real and was irreversible.

All was completed and we agreed a moving date. The moving date was a bit later than we had originally thought as the couple was going on a barge holiday to Norfolk. This put it back a little but allowed us to pack and sort things out in the flat we were leaving. The girl moving to ours had already packed and left her place empty and went to her caravan in Clacton for the summer so wasn’t in a hurry to get to ours.

So moving day arrived. We had heard a neighbour was a removal man so the quote he gave us was quite reasonable. He had got the contract for the couple in Stepney too. The trouble was because they had gone away just prior to moving the had not packed and so were quite unprepared for the moving day. This gave us quite a good time to clear and sort things out and not feel rushed or pressurised. But the problem was about to get worse. They did not finish moving the others until gone 7pm. This meant the removers could only start with the larger items from our flat. The poor lads, they had started quite early and had many problems with the couples stuff. By 9:30 in the evening they were ready to take our second load but they look so tired and washed out I told the to come back another day. Again it all seemed fine in the hands of God as it allowed us to get a bit settled in before all the fiddly stuff came. We had placed a lot of stuff like books and our camping gear into storage, so when that comes out there will be even more uproar!

We are so happy at this new place. We feel really blessed by God. At time of writing we have the decorators in. Our daughter was able to get some paint from council refuse department. Trade painters pass on to the council any they don’t finish. We are very pleased with the colours and seem to have just been waiting for us to use. It’s a shame though we were just getting settled and the uproar. And then, when that is all over, we have to get what we placed into storage. More boxes to unpack!

God has provided and has blessed us and seems to be involved in every aspect of our move. We are so grateful.

Momentous events

2010-06-25T21:17:00.006+01:00

Andrea and I have become grandparents! It just wonderful. Kieren and his wife Jenny are the mum and dad and they are pleased as anything, they are so proud.

As you know we go to a church in the east end of London in Bethnal Green, and we have been trying to move from where we live now to not far from the church. This has been our goal for nearly twelve years. Well recently, after being discouraged and not really looking, we have had someone interested in swapping with us. They live in Stepney not far from Genesis Cinema (if you remember where that is). It is a two bedroom ground floor maisonette. This is a bit smaller but as we have no children living with us any more the size won't be a problem. It does have a garden though which Andrea is glad of. These things always take time and we we are waiting on the council to process our application.

Trip to Rainham

2010-03-29T11:03:00.002+01:00

Andrea (my wife) and I went to Rainham Marshes RSPP on the Sataurday. When we arrived we were told of of a Ring Ouzel so we headed to where it was last seen. Andrea saw it but I was too busy scanninig with binoculars to have caught it.

We were glad though, the Rainham woods were alive with song bird. Dunnock, Greenfinch and Cetti's Warbler were particualy songfull.

Holiday in scotland Day 3

2009-08-18T21:57:00.003+01:00

Day 3

The next morning we got up fairly sharpish to get ready for the off. We had a bit of a journey ahead of us. We were heading north to a place not far from Glasgow.

On the way I had planned to visit somewhere where I had lived as a child. As described in my story my mother left my father when I was three years old, taking me with her to Scotland. The place she took me was Paisley and we were going through there on the way. I had discovered from my Auntie in Australia the particular area of Paisley I should be concentrating on.

I set my GPS for the particular street and headed off. We arrived early afternoon that day. As I neared it I was getting a little apprehensive of what I might have found. This was important to me and returning here brought back some of the pain again of a difficult childhood.

The houses were not as I had expected: Built just after the war they were mostly semi-detached pebble dashed on the outside. I was supposed to have been here from when I was three to when I was six but it triggered nothing; no spark. I was disappointed.

I decided to knock to ask someone. The lady who answered pointed out an elderly gentleman who had been in the area since the houses were built. We had a very nice conversation with him of how things have changed and what life was like then.

The centre of the community back then, we heard, was the local pub. We went to go looking for it. The man told us it had become a posh pub and changed its name. We found it a short drive away. We had a pot of tea and took some photos but still no memory. Maybe I was just too young.

So onwards to Lochwhinnoch.

We had booked a small campsite and the journey to there took us through some spectacular scenery. Andrea drove quite a bit so I was able to click away with the camera.

As we arrived we realised it was quite late. There were offices there so wondered if it was the right place. The door was open and I looked inside. There was no one about. If it wasn't for someone coughing in a back office I would have said the place was deserted. I found a man sitting at a computer. He looked a bit surprised to see me and went to fetch another man to help us. It was 6:30 in the evening by this time and I was glad they had worked late. They told me they don't normally do that.

We were going to use the tent but as I said it was getting late and would have taken too long to put up. We noticed in the same place little wooden huts in a secluded spot. The man told us the were for sleeping in and would cost only a little bit extra to use one. It was useful to for the next day too werealised we would have had to put the tents down thus saving on time.

It still took time to get sleeping bags, lilo, cooker etc. from the car to the hut. But we soon sorted everything that was needed. Unfortunately Andrea kept bumping her head on the low door into the hut. She didn't take long to make sure she ducked down. It happened to me as well.

Being even further north it was still very light at that time and we took an evening walk to a local woodland nature reserve. The Sun wasgolden as it was setting over the hills. It was peaceful walk and we saw a few birds. We even saw a deer hiding in the bushes.

As we returned to the site we were looking across the fields and saw a Barn owl fly to and fro hunting. It was a ghostly figure and an exciting thing to see.

We were ready to sleep looking forward to the next day.

Our scottish holiday Day 2

2009-07-16T15:56:00.000+01:00

3:30! I was woken by the birds at 3:30! It was an explosion of sound. The dawn had come early this far north. I listened for a while in my tent and tried to identify some of them. Green-finch, Blackbird, Song Thrush, Wren.... It wasn't long before I drifted back to sleep.
I next woke at just gone 7

Where we where in Cumbria was one end of Hadrian's Wall. In fact the remains of the wall ran just behind the camp site.

After breakfast we chose a path to follow and all went well until we came to a heathland marsh. The designated path seemed to have disappeared. I sort to trail blaze a path in a macho sort of way. This failed! I was finding a way through when suddenly a leg disappeared down a boggy hole right up to above my knee.

Because of this we had to return to our camp site early to get changed. We had made sandwiches for the journey so we had lunch at the tent.

Being back at camp gave us opportunity to sit and relax and let the stresses and strains of London wash off us. It was only then that we started to enjoy the holiday.

In the evening we walked along the coastal path to the local village. The path actually went through someones garden. I'm sure I would have like that.

As we arrived at the village we were surprised to see a disused railway station. The platform was still there and the sign seemed to show how it was quite a busy station.

The local village pub was fairly full. We ordered a pot of tea for two and did some people watching.

We returned to camp around 10pm and was still very light. We went to bed ready for the journey north tomorrow.

Our Scottish holiday - Day 1

2009-07-02T12:03:00.004+01:00

I had been planning a camping trip for some time. As a couple, my wife Andrea and I are very interested in birdwatching. The pound was very week so I thought it would be good to have a "stay-cation".

I decided on Scotland because of what I saw in Birdwatching magazine which I subscribe to. They feature walks around the country depending n time of year. A forest walk in Glenmore caught my eye. The trouble is living in London, it was a long way to go. This got me planning camping.

We had packed the car the night before in readiness. we finally got away about 10 minutes to 8, Ahead of us was, what I thought would be, a six hour journey, or at least that was what the GPS told us. As it turned out, and probably always the way, it took longer than we hoped. It did not help by the road we were due to travel on was closed as a lorry had shed it's load. This meant it took ten hours to get to our first camping place.We used our new car.

Even with it's size the car was still packed full. We always tend to take things “just in case”. I had packed the car the previous evening but we still had things to fit in in the morning.

We arrived, as I said, about eight hours from start. I nearly missed where it was and would have driven past if it wasn't for Andrea calling out the name of the farm. I parked up in a little lay by and entered the farmyard. I was greeted by a nice Lady and her dog. Immediately she offered a cup of tea. Andrea was still in the car so I went to collect her. We told her of our journey and complained of the traffic. She listened with interest and offered us her home-made biscuits; she seemed very kind and welcoming. It was a pleasant end to our long journey.

The camping field itself was a little way up the road. so we chose our spot and pitched the tents. We had two tents, both were throw-up and easy to pitch. We were right by the sea so, after settling in, we went for a short walk. Straight away we were able to see some lovely birds: Curlew, Shelduck, and herring gull, to name a few.

When we returned to the campsite we were able to spot a Bulfinch! This bird is quite rare and is on the RSPB endangered species list. Fantastic we thought, such a rare bird right near where were camping. Being so far north, the evenings were very light. In fact the sun did not set later than 9 pm leaving it still light until gone 10:30.

Many would have followed what we we were doing over the holiday. I posted my daily adventures on Twitter and Facebook. Many times I used my mobile phone to post them, but trouble is the text did not come out as I had hoped.

We went to bed nice and early ready for day 2.

Busy week

2009-06-03T23:11:00.003+01:00

Boy, what a busy week we have had!

First of all, last weekend, we were invited to a Bengali wedding. We are friends with a family whose sister was the bride.

My friend Moksud, this time last year had had a massive stroke ( I may have mentioned this before). This left him paralysed, unable to talk, and t the time close to death. He is the father of one of the Kids Club kids. When I heard the news I really felt the compassion of God and felt I should befriend him and pray for him. I have been visiting him in hospital ever since. He has made massive progress and now is able to sit in a wheelchair, use his left hand and talk a little.

The wedding and indeed the mehndi was lovely! We felt honoured to have been invited.The mehndi is a ceremony to prepare the bride in readiness for her husband. A kind of "sending off" and normally just for family members. This showed how much we were respected and honoured to have been invited to go. The Wikipedia entry describes it better than I. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehndi

Before I got to the main ceremony though, I pranged my car. I was reversing out of the estate where the bride lived and did not see a slight bend in the road. BANG! I had hit a gate post! I felt so stupid. Fortunately Andrea and I were OK but it was bit of a shock. It was still drivable - to a point, and so was still able to get to the wedding. I had damaged the drivers side rear wing and lights. The car isn't worth that much so I think it is a write off. And, sadly, the insurers came to take it away last Thursday.

We arrived at the wedding being one of the first. The banqueting hall was massive with tables everywhere. It was deceptive, the hall was so big I could not decide whether or not there was a mirrored partition in the middle. We were met by Moksud's wife, Shulee, welcoming us; she looked lovely in a green Salwar Kameez. She was busy so left us to our own devices.

Slowly the room filled up and we were surprised how many different nationalities were there: Japanese, Afro-Caribbean, African (I think Ghanaian) Albanian-they sat next to us to name but few. The grooms brothers and friends were strutting around in the sharp suits having come in their flash cars. Loud Asian dance music was playing in the background.

The the drums started! A procession was afoot! The groom, seemingly the only one wearing the cream Asian suit, was following two drummers announcing his entrance. Following behind were his family and friends. The groom was very handsome and and very noble looking. He smiled and greeted those looking on with a smile and a flash of the eye. He took his place on stage (which was plushly furnished) and posed with family and friends to a wall of photographers.

The Imam got up to speak and lead prayers. He spoke of living a pious life and prayed for forgiveness; then all the other leaders prayed for the groom.

The bride had been waiting in a car for all this time, now the photos for the groom had finished we were all asked to take our seats and make ready for the bride. She too came in with a procession behind her, not with drums this time but quietly and with poise. People were snapping away at their cameras as she made her way through the crowd. The groom and bride met and stood while the photos were being taken. The groom's family seemed so welcoming to the bride and, like any wedding should be, it brought joy to see them together.

I was looking after Moksud and taking him to good vantage points to see the action. He was asked to see the cutting of the cake. I was new to all this but was thrilled to see each family cutting a piece of cake for the other starting with the bride and groom. Moksud, as a close relative, was offered cake to by the groom, the groom's mother and the grooms father. I was so impressed by the care shown by the groom and his family. There seemed genuine compassion and care for him.

Then the food was presented to us. It just kept coming, dish after dish placed on the table. Chicken curry, Lamb curry, Naan bread, Biriani, Dahl. And as it was used up a new dish would replace it. I joked withe others on the table that we were expected to finish all this. I knew though that it would have been impossible.

Ever since the stroke Moksud was still "nil by mouth" so he could not could not join in with the eating. I felt a little awkward but he reassured me to enjoy myself. Later on his wife "fed him" using a syringe straight into the stomach.

More photos were taken and Shullee and Moksud's brothers expressed their thanks for all we had done for them. We have developed a real friendship and all I can say is it is a privilege and an honour. All I want to do is express the love of Jesus to them. I said I was happy to help and be friends with the family.

Because of the crash of the car it brought forward what I had wanted to do for a while; I had been looking out for a new car anyway. I was looking for something newer and maybe something bigger. Andrea had been complaining how small the boot was, not big enough, she said, for our camping equipment. I agreed, it was a little awkward to have to fold the seats down to accommodate all the stuff we normally carry.

Today we are travelling to Manchester First Class on the Train. We are doing this because our Richard is moving to Berlin for two years. He wants to learn German so he can read the great German theologians in their native language.

Richard's wife is putting on a party and we are going to see Kieren join us too.

We are preparing this week for our camping trip to Scotland. I hope to tell you nall about it as we go along with postcards.

I'm Back!

2008-12-20T10:15:00.002Z

Wow has it been that long?

I haven't written a blog for quite some time eh? Well I'm back!

Today, at work, I had my Christian Union Carol Service held at a near by Church of England church. I felt it went quite well. We had over forty come along. I'm not sure about my singing though. Many times I found my self stumbling over the words and how they fitted the tune.

I was a bit self conscious. We had invited the Mayor of the borough to come and he sat with me. It was a bit difficult for him as he is a Muslim. Still, he stood at the rights times. We had a series of carols and readings from the Bible.

The curate of the church gave the talk. It was down to him as the vicar had got caught up with the Bangkok demonstrations. He had gone to Thailand for a break and got stuck there.

We had mince pies and tea afterwards. One of the managers in the town hall had paid for them. It was a lovely surprise not having to get them out of our own pocket.

Yesterday I went to see the Diabetic nurse at the doctors surgery. It had been a while since seeing her and I was a bit nervous she would tell me off. I felt I had let myself go a little lately and indeed it had shown in the blood test I had done a couple of weeks ago. She looked at the the results on her computer and tutted a little. "Are you getting complacent lately?" she asked.

I'm afraid I got a bit defensive about it. I was annoyed that I still had diabetes and still had the restrictions of what I eat. It was only a few days ago I stared at the Crunchy Nut Cornflakes thinking how much I miss them. Though I don't know what I'm worried about, I do eat healthily, normally, and generally I am fine about my diet; but I have been a bit silly lately eating things like chocolate and crisps.

The figures were not serious and had only gone up in minor decimal points. "Just keep an eye on things.", she said. I agreed I would, though I was a bit grumpy about it. Having got home I realize I am relatively in a good place at the moment and really don't have to be fearful or angry. Christmas is going to be a little challenging though.

I am grateful to God for my life and during this time that that I have the blessing of a job. I still work for a local council in the Council Tax department but I have felt a bit tired at work recently. We have been short staffed with sickness and that has left us pressurised to take up the slack. Things have eased after they took on couple of new staff.

I am still feel I am living in the good what I had written in July, and with further recent prayer things are even better. As an outworking of that I now take a group in church teaching and encouraging them to grow in their gifting. Sometimes I am amazed how God is using me.

As an example of that, I was asked to meet the new youth worker at the local Church of England church in Spitalfields. We met in a "Sausage and mash" cafe, it was delicious! There were four of us and we got talking. I felt very passionate about working with Bangladeshi people and told him some of my experiences. He had a lot of ideas how he wanted to do things. First was a mini football tournament. On the Saturday we gathered and I volunteered To referee. I was surprised how well it went. People have always said I have gifting with the young people but I have never felt confident in it. They seemed to do what I asked with very little dissension. We played three separate games of varying lengths, but the longest was 15 minutes a side. The quality of football was amazing. I think some good things will come out of this. Andrew wants to do something regular with the boys.

As I write this I am in the back seat of a car driving between Calais and Lille. Andrea's brother is driving and we are off to visit a Christmas market. We will be staying in a cheap hotel overnight and probably visiting Belgium tomorrow. It is very cold here with the display of the car showing 0° Celsius. Andrea's brother has a left hand drive car and feels a bit different to travel in. I didn't see much of the journey as I fell asleep. The next thing I knew was we had arrived at the hotel. We booked in.

The Christmas market we were visiting was not closing until 10pm so after dinner we traveled a further 20 minutes to the centre of Lille. Everyone seemed to have the same idea as we found it very difficult to find a space to park. As I got out of the car I was worried about losing my way in a strange town but need not have worried.

As we crossed various streets and squares to where we hoped the market was we came across a solitary merry-go-round. No one seemed to be on it but it was still going round.

Eventually we found the market, but by now it was raining. Not heavy, but enough to get in the way; we tried to ignore it. The trouble was the rain was getting on the lens of Andrea's camera.

There were quite a few stalls selling different things. Things to eat, things to drink, cheap gifts, expensive gifts; everything.

Through a gap in the buildings we saw a Big Wheel ride so we went to investigate. There in just the next square along was a wonderland of this ride. It was quite spectacular.

It was getting cold and the rain was getting heavier, so we left to find the car again.

After sleeping at the hotel the next day we took an excursion into Belgium. Where we were was close to the border so it was easy to step across. Andrea's brother Brian took us to various locations.

The first place visited was a town where all the shops were on the on main street. We visited a pet store were dogs for sale! They were so cute! all puppies of different sorts. I wanted to take one home, then I looked at the price tag- 450 Euros! ouch!

One was a seaside town where there were a few shops. On the beach were lots of seagulls. They tended to congregate on top of the street lights. I wanted to a closer look and I was glad to have Andrea's binoculars in my pocket. "Hold on, what's this?", I said. I thought I had seen a rare "Ring Billed gull". I got quite excited. But I had to check later and found it was not so rare but still a good spot of a common gull.

On to our next location, a little shop out in countryside. While Brian went in to talk to the shop keeper, Andrea and I went to see the river close by. White farmyard Geese came swimming and honking up to us. They were obviously hungry. Or maybe they were protecting their territory. They need not have worried. I was not about to jump in!

As we returned another person had arrived and got stuck in some mud. I offered to help and tried to push. I tried to avoid getting caked in the mud from the spinning wheel and felt I had done quite well. Unfortunately, though, Andrea had been standing by the side watching, and got covered head to toe in the thick dirt. As he had turned the wheel it got her where she thought she was safe! We all rallied to clean it off one another but poor Andrea, the more we tried the more she looked like an SAS commando on manoeuvres!

And so back home to catch the ferry. I fell asleep in the back of the car again. It had been a busy weekend but enjoyable.

Happy Christmas!

A New Phase

2008-07-18T14:44:00.002+01:00

Things have been a bit tough of late and I have been wrestling with who I am and what God wants from me. I have still felt weak and ineffectual.

Last night I went to a joint small group where the men prayed for the men and the women prayed for the women. During prayer two prophetic words were given to me, which at first glance seemed a little innocuous but on reconsidering were just right.

My friend Frazer said I was like a steam train on a track going the right way and not veering-as is the nature of tracks, but I was stopped at a place to take on water and fuel.

Johnny said he had a picture of a fluffy pillow. What that meant he did not know. "just enjoy it", he said. I was encouraged a little.

As I was the first to be prayed for, I was glad to be used of God after that in bringing words to others. The images were clear and words were sharp.

One particular one I had for Gerry was really good. He was like an archaeologist on a dig. He was looking for something, but he did not know what. He had been digging and sometimes it was hard graft but he was motivated by knowing there was something to find. God expressed how pleased he was that he was looking and persisting in a task that can at times seem slow and laborious. Sometimes it needs shovel work, sometimes a little trowel or brush. all the same he was persisting. The parable of treasure in a field was mentioned too. Jesus is worth everything to find.

With trepidation and with the warning words of "not to think of yourself more highly than you ought" I will tell you the next bit.

This morning I got up to pray. This has been a rare event recently, but I was today able to get out of bed. I was still wrestling with God. He reminded me of the two words from last night. Suddenly I saw I did not have to be anyone or do anything but to - in the case of the pillow just enjoy God's rest and comfort. Yes I was going in the right direction but stopped to take on water and fuel ready to steam ahead.

Having that encouraging me, another message for myself came for me. To illustrate that please click the link below.

http://www.arkive.org/species/ARK/invertebrates_terrestrial_and_freshwater/Anax_imperator/Anax_imperator_09b.html

You will see this is a dragonfly nymph emerging to adulthood. This is the image God gave me this morning.

He said I was like a dragonfly emerging from nymph stage. During this time it is stationary and not doing anything (apart from trying to emerge). It can seem an arduous and painful task but that is part of the process. Also at this time it is very vulnerable and has no defence. The nymph looks ugly in comparison to the fully formed insect.

By nature the dragon fly has large eyes to see with and if you click the last of the four pictures on the site you will see it going to and fro looking. This I felt God saying I would do for the church. Although I have been doing it to some measure, I feel I will flourish in the gift.

I had to be rid of the outer shell of self reliance and pride and thinking of what I could do for Him and to flourish into the beauty of what He had made me and rest in that.

Please pray for me. I feel I am still in the emerging stage and I am still vulnerable.

Lessons to learn

2008-07-05T10:53:00.003+01:00

Quite a lot has been happening. We have been watching the revival in Florida on TV. In response to that I decided to have a special healing meeting at my work's Christian Union. I felt I was obeying what God wanted me to do but I did not feel I could do it. I felt a bit of a burden of responsibility on me. I got the others in the group to pray. We were desperate for God to meet with us. I felt so hungry for His presence. I was so aware of my weakness and failings. I have a fine group who rallied round and sought Jesus to turn up.

The meeting was fantastic. All I could do was to rely on God and obey what he was saying. We had a time of worship then I felt God give me a couple of words for healing people. People responded and we had lots of testimonies of people being touched and healed by Jesus.

In the past I would try to hard and rely on a formula. But I realise now that it's all about Jesus and how He wants to do it.

In lots of ways I believe God can use you to touch your fellow prisoners. You can ask God to bring healing to peoples lives and bring glory to Jesus in that prison. I fact they mentioned that on TV a couple of weeks ago saying God was starting to move mightily in prisons. I don't know what your Chaplin, Ken, thinks of all this but watching it and hearing from God I really want to do and be where He wants me to be.

Things can never be the same and it seems that this is a start of worldwide move of God to bring nations around the world to Christ and see His name glorified. I was even going to there myself this week but in the end I felt God say hold off for a while.

Andrea and I have been married for over 29 years now. So, as part of the celebrations we went on a marriage course. This was hosted by a big church in London called Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB). It was a real eye opener. They give you a meal and there is a talk and then you are expected to discuss together a particular subject each week. Subjects such as: Knowing me-Knowing you, Resolving conflict, Parents and parents in law, and the five languages of love. We felt we had a good marriage and do truly love each other but this showed us God wanted our marriage to be so much better and our love for one another to be deeper.

We took our holiday in France again this year. It was Sarah-Jane that found us a place to go- The Jura Mountains near Geneva. The Jura region is really the foot hills of the Alps.

We have up to now flew and hired a car when we arrived, but this year we decided we would drive down and have a stop off part way. The stop off was just outside Paris. We booked with a company called Canvas Holidays. They seemed to be the cheapest for the place we had chosen. We hired a mobile home. It was the biggest one we had ever had and was quite luxurious. Unfortunately though, it rained all the time. To top it all I felt a little under attack spiritually, and so my mood was not helped by it constantly raining. We were able to do things though. I felt particularly proud of the number of walks across the region Andrea and I were able to take. We seem so much fitter now that we both cycle to work. The scenery was lovely and was not spoiled by a bit of rain! During our time there we visited some spectacular water falls. We were even able to go behind one of them. We got very wet, but thankfully we both had good waterproof coats.

I normally am not good at finishing books once I start them, but recently I have just completed a book that has really been quite good. It is called "The Shack" It tells the story of a dad whose little girl gets taken by a sex offender and murdered. He returns to the scene of the murder and tries to deal with God why He should allow such things. I don't know if Ken has explained The Trinity to you, but this book's main theme is God in trinity. It is never easy to talk about a subject like that but I believe it has some good points to make. I will try and get a copy to you.

Whilst watching the revival on TV I felt I had been healed of Diabetes. I won't know for certain until I visit the doctor on July 7. Interestingly enough, though because I have been cycling to work most days I seem to have lost quite a bit of weight. I am now down to 14½ stone. This and continuing to eat healthily means I have recently felt so well.

We heard some sad news lately and it has given opportunity for us and the church to pray for the community. One family in Kid's Club had a brand new baby boy. The mum wanted to return to Bangladesh t show him off. Unfortunately she only had a Bangladeshi passport. On trying to return to this country she was stopped by immigration. We as a church prayed for her and praise Jesus, she was allowed back in.

Another member of Kid's Club said her father had had a serious stroke. He was taken to intensive care. We wanted to love and support the family and so we prayed. I felt from God I should go to the bedside to pray for healing and deliverance. I asked permission from the relatives. They said yes, fine, in fact they seemed quite enthusiastic. I went along with Andrea and a friend called Dez (short for Derek) and asked at the nurse’s station where he was. They directed us. He was no longer in intensive care but had been moved to a brain observation ward. The man's mother was there and she seemed quite moved we had prayed. We left them and went home. Later that week I felt we should pray by his bedside again. I took Andrea again and, because we had been there before I went straight in to the ward and to the bed we had been to before. He had no one with him this time and was being fed by the nurse. I was a bit concerned he had signs of surgery on his head, but I thought it is what was needed so didn't worry too much. I got down to praying for him again. I asked God for healing and deliverance once more and God to bless him. After we had prayed a nurse came up to us and asked if we had been here before.

"Of coarse", I said, "I was here Sunday"
"Oh, I think you mean that man over there." She said.
I had been praying for the wrong man! I was so embarrassed!

There, across the ward, was the mother again by her son’s bedside. We approached once again and offered to pray again. I felt so silly because where she was right by the security station and the security guards had been watching all this unfolding. They looked very disapproving with their arms folded watching me intently as I prayed for the right man this time.

We really love the Bangladeshi community and are really desperate to see God break in there.

Easter Outreach

2008-04-15T15:20:00.001+01:00

During the month of March my Christian fellowship, at work, had an outreach program. I lead this group and was desperate to do something to lift the Name of Jesus up within my work place. I suggested it to the other 2 leaders. Straight away they was enthused about it. One of them, Gloria, made a suggestion about its theme. She wasn't even serious about the suggestion either. "Who are you?" she suggested. Immediately I felt God speak to me that this was right. I'm one of those people that if I see an idea I want to run with it. This suggestion really captured my imagination. So often, people at work tend to just have their head down and do their work drudgingly. We who are followers of Jesus, know of another dimension to life and how it need not be a drudge.

It was suggested we have a literature table in the foyer during the two weeks either side of the Easter break. I emailed everyone in the group for volunteers. Gloria also emailed them for finances. The response was phenomenal! People handed her lots of money; I felt they gave quite sacrificially. In the end we raised over £300! We even got donations from those who don't normally come to any of the meetings. People were also enthusiastic about being at the table to greet people as they either came to work, or were going home.

Andrea is a bit of a photographer and I was keen to use a couple of her photos for the posters which I wanted to put up in the foyer of the Town Hall.

Only about two weeks before we went out to visit Green Park, in London, near Buckingham Palace, to enjoy the sunshine. The weather was warm and the Daffodils were out in force; they looked quite lovely. Andrea used her recently bought new camera and got snapping away. I used one of these to for the posters. The other photo was of a butterfly that Andrea had taken during our holiday in France.

The price of such posters are quite expensive and, although people were generous I felt I did not want to waste their money. I was, however, able to find a very reasonably priced place on the Internet. It was in Germany and you had to send it via the Internet. I was concerned the posters would not get back to us in time but they worked very hard and the posters looked stunning! It was so thrilling when I put the posters on the table in the foyer.

We had a prayer meeting prior to the outreach weeks and one of the members suggested a prayer point list. This, I have to say, was very useful and insightful about what we should concentrate on.

I did all I could to get enough literature and tracts to make the table look nice and full. Others too scoured their own churches for literature. We were not prepared for the success we were to experience on that first day. By the end of the day the table looked quite empty with very few leaflets left. Some people stepped into the breach and one person went on his motorbike during his lunch break to get some more from a local Christian book shop. He insisted on paying for them himself. Others also gave bags of new testaments Bibles and expensive books for people to take. They too insisting not to be reimbursed. Each day was similar with us having the problem of keeping the table stocked up.

On the table we had little mini eggs in a basket. People were very willing to take them. We wanted to show people the Grace of God and definitely not worry if they all went. We did our best to keep the basket stock up. Again, many of the group bought some themselves, they even bought quite expensive, luxury eggs and chocolates.

A Bible was opened and each day a Bible passage was chosen for people to read. A prayer request book was also available for people to write in for us to pray for what was asked.

By the end of the two weeks we had given away lots of booklets and eggs. We had lots of people asking us question and we had many prayer requests. A very successful time!

Afterwards we had a thanksgiving meeting where all we did was praise God for what He had done.

Heavy Breathing

2008-02-07T10:45:00.000Z

Having returned from being away from Christmas I hadn't been at work for very long when I was taken ill. I was experiencing a bit of a tight chest and felt I was coming down with a cold. Then it really started going wrong. I felt terrible the next day; really achy.
Then the coughing started.

I decided to take time off work. Little did I know I would not be able to return to work until nearly two weeks later.

I'm sure Andrea was getting fed up of my coughing and complaining, but she was an angel and very patient. Men aren't good at having colds and seem to complain too readily; this seemed to be different though.

After three days there seemed no improvement so I went to the doctors. The doctor said I had a chest infection and was concerned I was developing asthma. He gave me Inhalers and antibiotics.
I was still coughing very badly. The evening of the day after I had seen the doctor I had a particularly bad coughing fit and felt I could not breathe. Sarah-Jane rang NHS Direct for advice. They immediately got an ambulance to come round. I was a bit embarrassed, I didn’t want any fuss. They were very good though. They sat me in the ambulance and gave me a mask for oxygen. That was a new experience and made me feel so much better. Whilst I was enjoying the oxygen (if enjoying is the right word), the ambulance paramedic checked my heart. Sticky pads were placed on my chest. I felt a bit silly; I knew what they were worried about. I was a first aider at work and we had, many times, gone through signs of a possible heart attack. I was sure that wasn't happening but they had to do their job.

Andrea was with me. She had traveled with me in the ambulance. She was very good. She doesn’t like anything medical but she coped admirably. I, although I was short of breath, was making light of it. I wanted Andrea to take a photo of me all wired up. Of course she declined.

We arrived at St Thomas hospital and I was fairly quickly seen at first. They took blood and again checked my heart; then came the long wait. The doctors wanted to check the results and decide.
There were many characters waiting in casualty as well. Some drunk and noisy; saying hello to everyone passing by. Others had there head bowed with a bowl under them. They were obviously suffering from this winter vomiting virus going around.

My friend, Alvin, rang me up to see how I was doing. He was a qualified doctor and after a little discussion of my situation, he was keen to come and sit with me. I have known him a while and he is a very good friend. He had to come all the way from Hackney, East London so it took about an hour for him to arrive.

Now that he had arrived it gave Andrea a chance to go home. It was gone midnight at this point and she was wilting a bit. Sarah-Jane had hired a car so she could help her get home.
Once Alvin had come he was keen to tell me all the doctors may be considering. He, many times, in his training, had been an emergency doctor so this kind of thing was not a problem to him.
We used the long wait as an opportunity to catch up with news and what was happening in each other’s life. It was a real encouragement. Although he is a good friend, I don’t really get a chance, very often, to chat to him.

I was breathing better by now and so talking was not as unpleasant as it might have seemed. The clean hospital air seemed to help significantly; not to mention the oxygen I had had in the ambulance!

Eventually I was seen after 4½ hours. I wasn’t tired and, surprisingly, I hadn’t been too bored either.
The diagnosis was I had Pneumonia. Not serious pneumonia but enough for them to worry a little. They sent me home after giving me antibiotics.

Alvin dropped me off home at 5 in the morning. I was glad it was all over. It took another week before I felt well enough to return to work. I was still coughing badly and I think it was not helping by having hairy cats every where. Andrea and I made the decision to get the fold up bed out in the other room and not let the cats any where near us. I think it helped. The cats looked all forlorn and quizzical in the morning, wondering why they could not sleep on our bed.

Christmas blessings

2008-01-03T22:53:00.000Z

Sarah-Jane has rejoined us back at our flat once again. She was finding it very expensive to live where she did. Since coming back she has been a real blessing. We were getting a bit stuck in our ways and the flat and furniture were looking tired. She got us going to IKEA and spend some money.

We made one of the bedrooms a second lounge with another TV, etc. We added a sofa bed. Those that have slept on it so far have said how comfortable it is. We are glad, there is nothing worse than giving guests an uncomfortable night.

Christmas has been a brilliant time for me this year. I am leader of the Christian group at work and together we arranged for us to have a carol service in the church near to where I work. The Rector was most welcoming to us as a group. The others in the group asked me to do the talk.

I was surprised to find out 37 people had attended. That was a good number for a Friday evening event. This a transcript of my talk:

What is Christmas all about? Look over on the back of your sheet. Is it about a jolly fat man that comes once a year? Who has difficulty getting into a house, either by chimney, or whatever means, because he has had too many mince pies.

It’s all very well but the trouble with this man is he doesn’t stick around. We see him, (or maybe we don’t), once a year when he has left something under the tree. But after that special morning he disappears, not to be seen again for a whole eleven months until some impostors show up in department stores to encourage you to spend your hard earned money on things, you secretly admit, you don’t really need.

Not so the one we are celebrating today. He was promised from a long time ago. Mayor Ann Jackson read one of those promises; a promise of something big, something significant.

He chose not a major city, nor a big media event, but a backwater town, where it’s only claim to fame was it had the promise of God on it, or had a young shepherd boy called David live there.

This child, this Son, was going to stick around. He was going to be Immanuel, God with us. That is a promise too, from Isaiah 7, which the gospel writer Matthew quoted.

“The increase of His government and peace will know no end” we heard in the first reading. This speaks of continuation and permanence. Jesus was going to bring something about that was going to grow and stay.

How would this happen? Could a baby really do this?

Well, we know the rest of the story, don’t we? This baby grew up! And, after He was baptized, went around doing good and preaching the Good News of the kingdom; the Bible says.

He said seemingly audacious things like “God is my Father”, and “I and the Father are one”. Or things like “I will never leave you or forsake you.” Jesus wanted us to know He was going to stick around and had the authority and ability to do so; even death did not stop Him from keeping His promise because He was raised from the dead.

Some accepted; some did not. Those that did accept Him and his message where changed; changed from being fishermen, to being fishers of men. From being a penny pinching, thieving, tax collector, in the pocket of the Roman authority; to a writer of a book in the Bible. There are some here who can say that they have been changed too. They changed when Jesus met them at their darkest hour. And that’s the key: change.

Change comes from believing; from accepting who He is and what He had to say. That His Father could be your Father.

Christ kingdom grows by changing me, by changing you. Changing us on the inside, as Jesus said, like yeast in a lump of dough.

So as the last verse of that carol says:

"O holy Child of Bethlehem!
Descend to us, we pray;
Cast out our sin and enter in,
Be born in us to-day.
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell;
O come to us, abide with us,
Our Lord Emmanuel!"

Ask Jesus for change and know His presence with you.

About that time I was approached by several councilors for the group to get involved with carols around the tree in the Town Hall reception area. The public and staff where there listening. We thank God His name is being lifted up in the heart of council affairs.

Sarah-Jane has settled in and continues to be a blessing. Even over Christmas she took the reigns and got us all organised. She even found a cottage for us to stay in during Christmas week. Our family is growing and we had found it increasingly difficult to accommodate everyone satisfactorily. Our flat is certainly not big enough for everyone to stay with us. Last year was OK because Sarah-Jane had the vicarage, but now she wasn't there anymore it was no longer an option.

The cottage was in Cambridgeshire near Wisbech. It slept eight and was quite reasonably priced. With everyone contributing to it it would only cost each person £20.00 per night they stayed.

As we were all away we had to put the cats in a cattery. The most suitable one was one quite close to the cottage. It was a bit of ordeal for the cats to travel in the car all that way but they seem none the worse for it now they are home.

We had to go shopping when we arrived after a long 3-hour journey. We were a bit worried as Turkeys were in short supply. We got one eventually.

All of us (Richard, Fiona, Sarah Jane, Andrea and I) wanted to go to church in a nearby village on the Sunday. Looking at the map it seemed near enough to walk to. The Sunday morning was crisp and frosty so it was nice to walk in, though had a few problems finding the footpath across the fields.

We met some friendly horses on the way. They were very much interested in who we were and what we were doing. Andrea got a bit spooked. We laughed because she was thinking they were chasing her.

After about 45 minutes we got to the church. It had taken a bit longer than thought so we arrived slightly late. As with old Church of England Churches you can't really enter quietly. The door clanged as we opened it and on entering everyone looked round. We felt a bit embarrassed.

Still, we got into the swing of the service and sung the carols with gusto. Some of the congregation kept looking round. I wondered what I had done wrong, but afterwards one of them came up to us and said how much they enjoyed our singing and "you should be in a choir with voice like that", we were quite flattered.

On the Sunday afternoon Kieren and Jenny eventually arrived. Like us it had taken quite a while for them to get from London to here. They did get a bit lost as well so Richard and I got in the car and went out to hunt for them. We were not sure if we would succeed in finding them, however we did and they followed us to the cottage.

The fact he had got lost got me thinking what to buy him for Christmas. He was very surprised to open a Sat Nav on Christmas morning. He should not get so lost in the future.

For chores and meals everyone chipped in and helped; Sarah-Jane got different couples to produce a meal for everyone on different days. Andrea's brother, Brian, used to be a chef, so he and Sarah-Jane cooked Christmas meal proper. Delicious!

The TV was only a small thing in the lounge. It was OK because one thing we like to do as a family is play board games. Some get very competitive.

Andrea's parents were there also.

Because the car was so crammed it was down to me to travel home by train afterwards. This Andrea driving and Sarah-Jane to help her. Just like when we were going it took an awfully long time for them to get home but thankfully they returned home safely.

My journey on the train was relatively uneventful except for the love countryside whizzing past and a group of football supporters were in fine voice as they got on and when they got off.

A Proud Moment

2007-11-21T11:03:00.000Z

We got a phone call one day. "I've finally finished my dissertation" Richard said.

"My tutors have marked it too", he continued. "I got a distinction!"

He had been doing a theology masters for some time and it was his responsibility to write up his thesis to get his final mark, now he had completed it. He had been marked with a merit overall and so was eligible for graduation.

Richard invited us to the graduation ceremony so we went for the weekend to Manchester. Richard wanted to make it a real celebration. We were able to get a reasonable priced train ticket, and the train journey was only two hours. This was very quick!

Later that afternoon there was a communion service in the college chapel and although it was not compulsory to go, Richard had the task of the first reading. We were panicking because we thought we were late. Richard dived out the car into the service leaving Fiona to lock the car up. It turned out the he had arrived just in time and that the leader of the service had not noticed he had been late.

That evening the college had put on a graduation meal. Andrea and I had made sure we bought our best outfits to wear. Sarah-Jane had really helped Andrea to choose the appropriate clothes; she has been a real blessing.

The meal was quite nice and was laid out really well. Previously I would have felt intimidated by events like this, but God has been working in me to know who I am in Christ. After the meal a talk was given, I was expecting a stuffy posh talk but it was friendly and full of laughter.

I was so impressed by the tutors and professors of Richard's college; they all seemed very friendly and approachable. This was a theology college and all seemed to have a real passion for Jesus.

The following day there was the graduation proper so in the morning Richard felt he needed a haircut. He suggested we go look at an antique emporium about 20 metres up the road. It was in an old local town hall.

We went in and it was a real adventure of discovery. Every room or wall was choc full of stuff; different rooms had different traders, some with furniture, some with knick-knacks and jewellery and some with ex-army or war memorabilia. We wanted to spend ages in there. Andrea caught sight of some lovely ceramic tiles and I was interested in the Second World War uniforms that were on display.

We were mindful of Richard wondering where we were if he had finished his haircut. But as we returned to the barbers he was still in the barbers chair receiving finishing touches to quite a short hair cut. We joked with him and the barber joined in. He told us he knew London fairly well as he visited his brother quite often. It always surprises me how many people know of have visited Bermondsey. When we talk to people it's nice to have something in common with them have experienced where we live.

When we returned to the house Fiona's parents had arrived and were being shown round. They had not seen the new house before so this was a real treat for them. They didn’t have a lot of time because the ceremony was later that afternoon. We all hurriedly got changed and rushed to the university. We were in good time when we arrived.

As I entered the main hall where the ceremony was held I looked up and saw the very ornate wooden ceiling. The hall was large with many my people milling around looking for their seat.

After hymns and a few prayers it was time for the ceremony. Names where read out and people mounted the stage to much applause. Richards turn came and he looked so chuffed to get this. I was trying frantically to take a photo but when I looked afterwards it was all blurry.

After the ceremony we were able to take photos of him in his gown and met all his tutors. They complimented him for his "good head on his shoulders" I felt honoured.

In the evening we booked a family meal for all of us. It was most enjoyable.

View over London

2007-10-23T11:34:00.000+01:00

At the beginning of October I wasn't feeling that great with my blood sugars being all over the place, so I phoned in sick from work. I stayed in bed and slept for a while. I got up about 10:30 still bleary eyed.

Sarah-Jane came round and on coming in burst into tears on Andreas shoulder. She had been experiencing some work place bullying recently and just felt the need to cry.

After calming down a little she suggested we visit Hampstead Heath. I wasn't sure I was up to it; I felt washed out. Still, the idea sounded quite good.

When we arrived at the West Hampsted tube station I was interested to see they hadn't really changed its decor and lay out. It still has the old ticket offices and tiling edges it had always had.

Those who know me, know that I am a bit of a gadget freak and I always want to take my gadgets with me. The trouble is, when I am feeling unwell I get a bit impatient with them. So this day was not a good day for my personal little computer to start messing about. I wanted to download some maps and be able to see where we were going, using it to make sure we wouldn't get lost. At first it did not work! I fiddled, pushed, shoved, shouted and cajoled it to work and eventually it did get working.

As we reached the top of the hill we saw a kite flier. I didn’t think there was much wind but it was a huge kite and he seemed to be struggling with it. It was one of those 2 handed stunt kites that you might see on the BBC mini films between programmes.

The view across London was spectacular. Many times I had seen on TV different people using the benches at the top of the hill to sit at and show a view of London. Now I have seen and used that very same bench.

So we headed down the hill on the other side toward the lake. SJ and Andrea described to me how they had been here before but had got lost. There were two sets of lakes and got confused which one they were at. I could see what they meant. The heath seemed daunting with so much to explore.

We got to the lakes and saw for the first time how large they were. While we were at the top of the hill their true size were obscured by trees. There were pathways around each lake and as we walked between two of the lakes we were surprised to see someone swimming. This gentleman was swimming amongst ducks and swans! It turned out it was permitted, for we saw across the lake, huts for changing and steps into the water. Back and forth he went. His friend was looking on from the side. The weather wasn’t cold but I am not sure if I would have taken the plunge myself.

We walked around the lakes and tried to return where we had entered the heath. I chose what I thought was the right path only to find we in completely the wrong place. We had to re-check and eventually. There was a short walk through streets back to the station.

Along the way there were some girls in pink outfits walking home with their mothers. We thought they might have been been at a party but as walked on further we saw they were from a dance class. the pink looked lovely against the grey of the streets.

Landlubbers

2007-09-12T10:55:00.000+01:00

Landlubbers Club

Each year in the East End of London two churches get together to do a holiday club for mainly Bangladeshi kids. My church- Church for The City and an Anglican church called Christchurch Spitalfields chooses a different theme each year and chose this year to have a pirate theme after the recent release of “Pirates of the Caribbean” third film.

We have had themes in the past that have included Grand Prix Winners, Seaside Rock, and an Egyptian Pyramid theme.

I have developed into “Mr Fixit” over the years I’ve been doing the club. I find out what theme the club is and seek to get equipment and props to enhance the week.

This year was a bit of a challenge. I scoured the Internet, particularly EBay and found several sellers offering Piratie stuff. I could have gone overboard (forgive the pun) and ordered quite a lot. But we limited ourselves to just a few items in the expectation of people coming up with their own things.

Each year I buy t-shirts and place iron on logos on them. This year I was able to get long-sleeved t-shirts for only a pound each.-Bargain eh?

Last year the theme was Grand Prix Winners. I found another church had done it the previous year. They still had some F1 papier-mâché cars we could use. This year’s theme, however, was new so no one had done it before. The equipment and props I was able to get I was able to pass on to another church, from Sussex, who was doing the club the following week. They were most grateful for what we were able to pass on.

The leader of the whole event is Alice. She has a real vision for doing this kind of thing.

Christ Church has some land near a park on which they had erected a marquee. In the past, and certainly this year, there had been a problem with security. For the first time the youths had sought to set the marquee alight! When I arrived on the first day ready to get started there were several burn marks where they had used a lighter to scorch the canvas. This was a worrying development. Some of the team were crying, worried we would not have tent to do the club in. The best thing to do was to pray. Praise God, we had no further problems of that kind after that!

Each day was started with setup. we all turned up about 11 and set up the wooden tables. These would be used for each team to gather round.

As it was a pirate theme we decided to name the teams after jewels, Red Rubies, Blue Sapphires and Green Emeralds are just a few examples. My team was the black Jets. Jet, if you were wondering, is a semi precious stone from fossilised wood.

We first made sure the kids were registered and had permission from their parents. And the put them into teams. The had coloured material based on their team colour. The boys tended the make them into ninja bands around their heads. The girls wore them like sashes. I wore my black material like a pirate bandanna.

Each day we did craft with the kids. Making badges or creating a poster or a making a treasure chest with jewels to stick on. For one day we were going to get the kids to make a model lighthouse. The more we thought about it though, we decided it was a bit too ambitious. They seemed to really enjoy each craft we set them to do. They got really stuck in (another bad pun!).

"On the beach!" was the cry from the Captain. So everyone sat on the mats in the middle of the of the tent. The captain was local rector Andy. He is normally not that exuberant but really got into the part. He made silly comments that children always seem to enjoy, especially about the stuffed toy parrot I was able to get hold of.

Songs were sung. We learned the Pirate Song.

It went like this.

We’re pirates from the open sea, landed on the shore.
Ah-oooh! Ah-oooh!

Trying to reclaim the treasure that’s in store
Ah-oooh! Ah-oooh!

Chorus
And we’re keeping going, on towards the prize.
And we’re keeping going, never take our eyes
Off the treasure, ah-oooh! The treasure, ah-oooh!
We’re pirates from the open sea, Jesus is our guide.
Ah-oooh! Ah-oooh!
Means more to us than anything, he came to earth and died.
Ah-oooh! Ah-oooh!
We’re pirates from the open sea, here we go, wahey!
Ah-oooh! Ah-oooh!
Jesus is our everything, we’ll listen and obey.
Ah-oooh! Ah-oooh!
We’re pirates from the open sea, we have learnt to pray.
Ah-oooh! Ah-oooh!
Talking about everything, to Jesus every day.
Ah-oooh! Ah-oooh!

Then came the games, We thank God that each day the rain held off enough for us to play games outside of the tent. Games like coca cola challenge, skittle ball and many others. Inside we had a game to learn a memory verse. Bursting a balloon to retrieve a word was one of their favourite.

After refreshments and a couple of songs there came the Bible story.

The highlight story from the week was the delivery from demons of a slave girl that the apostle Paul helped. All the adult helpers volunteered to mime it out while Alison told the story. Alison tells a very good story and everyone got well into their various parts. The evil slave master was booed enthusiastically and a guy called Will really played the apostle Paul well by showing his frustration at this slave girl following him about shouting out whilst being demon possessed. Although it was funny and everyone was laughing very hard the power of the story and how Jesus delivers us from evil really came across. You can read the story in Acts 16.

After the story we sat the Kids down and had a discussion with them. The kids tended to be a bit shy. I am not sure they were used to one to one conversation. Some of them did ask for prayer though. We were thrilled to oblige.

On the last night we were able to give all that we had used to another church in Sussex as they were going to have the same club the following week. It sound like the too had a great time being pirates.

A camping trip to hear the voice of God.

2007-08-10T21:44:00.000+01:00

Each year New Frontiers Family of churches, of which our church is part of, have a leadership conference in the city of Brighton. About 5000 delegates come to hear inspirational speakers like Terry Virgo, Dave Devanish, Rob Rufus, and Steve Van Rin. Normally I would not have gone, but this year I felt I should go as God said he wanted to speak to me.

Accommodation was a problem. I could have stayed in an hotel as many others had, but I'm a hardy sort and thought I could save money and sleep in a tent.

I have accumulated several tents over the years, but by now they are getting a bit old. Decathlon (my local sports superstore) was having a sale and had on offer a 2 man "through up" tent. This saves a lot of time when it comes to erecting the tent as all the poles are part of the tent and just springs into shape when thrown into the air. The makers advertise it to only take 2 seconds.

Using the Internet I found a nice little camp site near a village about 12 kilometres from Brighton. There was a railway station and it had lovely views of the South Down hills.

Because there was a railway station, I was going to catch the train and walk from the station to the camp site. However, this became a less practical option with the amount of equipment that I wanted to take. So, packing the car with the new tent and the cooker, the gas and all the other equipment, I headed off to Hassocks.

After a very slow and frustrating journey I eventually got to the camp site about two and a half hours later. This should have only taken one and a half hours according to my GPS but took nearly double that.

Unfortunately there was no one on the reception to tell me where to pitch so I picked a spot that I thought was suitable - a place that was flat and not to close to anyone else (I did not want to afflict them with my snoring!). Later I was to find out that I had been allocated a pitch, and the plan of where I should have gone was on the office door all along.

Although I had seen a display model of my nice new tent in the shop, I was not quite sure how it would go. I peeled the off the cover and the retaining strap and through it in the air. Ping! There it was, a fully erected tent before my eyes! I had to peg it down and peg out the guys but essentially it was up immediately. Two girls where watching from across the field with great interest.

There was another tent not far away. It seemed they were going the same conference I was. When I passed by whilst carrying my stuff from the car I overheard their conversation and so I introduced myself. They were most welcoming and invited me to sit down. I had quite a lot to finish off with my tent so I said I would be back in a moment.

When I finally got things sorted with my stuff and pumped up the air bed I went over to see them. There were four young lads:,Niku, Andy, Simon and Chris. They told me they and intended to catch a train each day.

"That was just what I want to do", I said.

"You can come in our car to the station when we go in the morning" Chris said. This, I felt was a real answer to prayer.

Although the village had a station, it was still quite a way from the camp site. I was not looking forward to the 20 minute walk. I could have done it but it would have meant I would have had to get up extra early to walk to the station to get the train into Brighton.

The scenery of the camp site was spectacular. The South down hills dominated. I had a good view and sat eating my tea admiring the view.

After tea I took a long walk across the fields and prayed. I felt I really had connected to God and that we were enjoying one anther's company. I was grateful, it was only the work of Christ on the cross and Him opening a way that aloud me to commune with God in the first place.

The next morning I was up and at 'em, bright and early. I didn't want to be accused of holding the guys back as they had kindly offered me a lift. Having had my breakfast I got ready to go and sat with them while they made sandwiches. Oh to be young again and be able to eat salty crisps and have strange fillings in sandwiches! I watched with amusement but said nothing.

We caught the train to Brighton wanting to be in good time for registration. It had been quite a long time since I had been to Brighton so the walk from the station to the conference centre was interesting.

I used to live in Brighton when I was 10 years old, so this was like a trip back in time. Forty years is an awful long time though, and as is the nature of things, everything had changed. I did not recognize anything. I was doing my best to remember but nothing seemed familiar. Presumably all the shops had changed and as I was only a 10 year old boy then, I didn't take a lot of notice of my surroundings. Later on I visited where I had lived and the school I had gone to.

Coming closer to the conference centre I was surprised at the number of people that had gathered to queue to get in to register. We were all heading for the same place so there was air of excitement.

There were quite a few faces I recognized from over the years of going to various Christian events; I nodded and said hello.

I had lost my camping companions; they had gone off and done their youth thing, so I was left alone. That was OK, I was excited at the prospect of getting into a meeting and hearing what God wanted to say to me. Normally I would gravitate to being with people but, certainly for the start of the week, it was best I was alone with God amongst a big crowd.

It was going to be a busy time with only small gaps between main sessions or seminars. I had to be wise with my time and using the breaks effectively.

The meetings started with worship. The main meeting hall was able to accommodate four and a half thousand people! That number of people certainly generates a lot of volume. It was great and I really felt carried away by the singing.

Then came the preaching; this was given by various speakers. One was a guy called Rob Rufus who spoke on God's Holy Spirit.

It reminded of the time back in 1974 when God met me in a very special way.

I had been visiting my then landlady's son just down the road. It was getting late so I left the house and made my way in the direction of home.
Almost immediately I heard an audible voice saying "turn around".
I chatted back my agreement. "Right oh LORD", I said. "It would be nice to take the long way round on to country roads"
So off I headed for a nice pleasant walk on a lovely crisp clear night on to country roads.
Leaving the town and entering the countryside I rounded a bend. Suddenly I felt something amazing. I felt a love from God I'd never felt before. The full moon seemed to be on fire. In response I cried out. "I love you Lord!"
I didn't know what to do. I started to laugh. I wanted to cry. My legs started to buckle from under me so I fell in a ditch. I got out still laughing and crying. I fell on my knees. I was so grateful.
And so it went on. I had lost all track of time, but I think it lasted about an hour. I was dishevelled but full of joy. God had changed me; I had gained a new love for Jesus and wanted to have Him number one in my life.

Having Jesus number one in my life and having Him use me was what most of the speakers were saying. I felt challenged again that I should tap into His power that he had supplied all those years ago.

Rob Rufus went on to say how God is committed to seeing Jesus made known to everyone, and that He wanted to use us and has given us the power to get the job done. After all Jesus healed, the disciples healed and He has promised to use us in healing and miracles to bring glory to the Name of Jesus.

I had gone expecting for God to speak to me, and that is what He did.

A trip to the past.

As I said earlier I used to live in Brighton when I was about 10 years old. I wanted to go and see the houses I had lived at some 40 years earlier. It was such a long time ago that I wasn't sure where in Brighton they would be. Fortunately the houses where in one street and were quite easy to find. I got to the first one and thought to take a photo. I am always worried what people think when you hang around a house, so I knocked on the door. The person who answered was very welcoming and invited me in to see what might have changed.

The second house the person said I could take a photo but did not invite me in.

I remembered that I had gone to school just around the corner and how I had bought sweets from the shop opposite the school. I took a short walk and there the school was, just as I remember. And so was the shop on the corner. It is a TV aerial shop now, but it still looked basically the same.

The conference only had a couple of days left and I was able to join my friends sitting with them in the meetings and having meals with them. One of the times we were discussing the meetings and what they meant to each of us. I got to tell of how God had challenged me. Suddenly I found myself crying for the people who did not know Jesus back in East London. I knew God loved these people and I seemed to feel God's heart for them. I was a bit embarrassed but my friends seemed to understand.

And so it was the end of the conference, time to get back to London and put in to practice what God was saying.

After the last morning session, I had lunch with my friends, Nat and Cynth at Brighton Station. I took the train back to the camp site and packed up; and so to home.

A Trip to France

2007-07-18T22:55:00.000+01:00

Each year we like to visit France for our main holiday in June. Here is what happened this year.

We got up on the Saturday morning nice and early; we had a flight to catch. The flight wasn't too early but it was our first time flying for a holiday and we were unsure of the procedure and so wanted to be there in good time for check in and security.

Come Fly with me

We had several different ways of getting to the airport like going by train or taxi. But, in the end, I decided to drive. This gave us a bit of independence. And as I was able to get a reasonable priced parking space for the week it was the best option.

We were limited with our baggage so had to be really careful not to go over the weight limit specified. The airline, although offering cheap flights, had a very strict policy and if you went over the weight limit they would charge you extra for each kilo excess. This was a worry but, as ever, we need not have worried; all was fine when we checked in.

When we parked there was a bus from the car park to the terminal. This seemed a long way from where we parked. The bus - a long Bendy Bus went all around going to all the different areas where people had parked.

Andrea was anxious. It was not helped by a lot of waiting around. But, after we had got through to "flight side", we made the best of it by buying breakfast of coffee and croissants.

We went through to another area where we could see the planes, there was still more waiting. While we where waiting there where quite a lot of people milling around with the same outfits on. Different groups with different outfits on. These, I found out, were cheerleaders going to a European competition in Denmark.

We had a call to go on board and were glad to have got some reasonable seats. People say in the budget airlines that there is not much leg room, but as far as we were concerned it was OK.

The flight was mostly uneventful. The stewards gave the usual safety talk. From time to time they would try and get you to buy things like duty free or food and drink. I, in the end, went for a little bit of pizza. It took ages to arrive but when it did it was piping hot.

I hadn't noticed that my hearing seemed to have diminished. This, I found out, is due to the pressure change in the aircraft. It helped if you swallowed but not completely. Andrea and Sarah-Jane had it worse though, they felt their ears hurting. It was especially bad, she told me, when we were descending. I am glad to say I didn't feel that but I did notice my nasal passages hurting a bit. As we hadn't experienced this kind of thing before so I tried to ask a steward. She surprisingly said "Sorry, what did you say? I can't hear you!" She was experiencing the same thing! I knew then there was nothing to be done but to put up with it.

We landed with a slight bump and slowly came to a stop. Everyone was clamouring to leave the aircraft, but I couldn't see the point of that. We were on holiday after all, so I took my time.

Perpignan airport wasn't very big with only a small terminal building. This was very different from the bustling airport of Stansted that we had left only two hours before. Two hours! It was a quick journey all things considered. When I was booking the holiday I was investigating the idea of going by train, this was expensive and we would have had to be on the train for over thirteen hours; flying was definitely the best option.

After retrieving our bags I went to the point where I was to sign for and collect the hire car. I was a bit nervous about driving on the right side of the road. Sarah-Jane was keen to help and do some driving herself, but, unfortunately, they would not allow her as she was under twenty five. So it was left to me. As a contingency plan Andrea signed as well but she said she was not going to drive unless there was a genuine emergency. So there it was a nice, fairly new and not too badly sized French car. I set up my navigation system and off we went. I was glad of it. When we were in France before, a couple of years ago, I got completely lost without it.

The trouble with driving on a different side of the road to the one you are used to, is you don't know where to look. The mirror is in the wrong place! The gear stick is in the wrong place! I took things slowly at first. Eventually, after a couple of days, I got used to it a bit more.

We arrived at the campsite. We had booked a caravan to stay in for the week and the rep cycled to show us where it was. I am glad to say it was very good, very clean, so much so, I actually thought it was new to us. I expressed this later to the reps and they were flattered I had thought they had done such a good job in preparation of our arrival.

Mediterranean dreaming

We couldn't wait to see the sea! So we left our bags half unpacked and headed off. As the campsite was next to the sea it was only a short walk across the site to the beach. The weather was pleasantly warm. There it was, the sea, lovely and blue. Although we could tell this would be a busy site in the height of summer, at his time of year there was hardly anyone about. Mostly what we saw that evening was two horses being ridden along the beach, a helicopter doing what looked like rescue practice, and two micro light aircraft fliers.

The sand was golden and Sarah-Jane was the first to run and dip her toe in to the sea. Andrea was busying herself taking lots of photographs. "Imagine", I said, "This sand may have come from volcanic eruptions like Vesuvius" (this is the volcano that had destroyed Pompeii). I think that was a bit lost on Sarah-Jane who really was only interested in enjoying the moment. The mountains, which were a backdrop to the beach, looked lovely in the late afternoon light. The air was still, and by now the helicopter had flown off having done what it had sort to do; all you could hear was the waves lapping the shore.

"Time to get back to the caravan and unpack", I said. The afternoon light was fading and we had jobs to do.

After unpacking we had a meal in the local campsite restaurant. This was quite a posh restaurant we discovered; on the menu were mussels and other specialty things like that.

Our main reason for going to this part of France was the hope in seeing some birds we had never seen before. The local or normal birds were very different to what we were used to. Nightingales sang, spotless starlings rummaged in the grass, and Hoopoes loafed about. We went to a few different places to see other birds and were not disappointed with what we saw. We felt very privileged to be able to catch a glimpse of them all.

The highlight of the week, for me anyway, was our visit too Spain. The border was very near to where we had camped and we wanted to visit the artist Salvador Dali's house. He very much adopted the town of Cadaques that was just across the border. We set off early and took a winding route along the coast past the now dilapidated border point and into Spain. We got to the house after a bit of a trudge through the town. We had parked in a car park in the edge of town and did not realise we had to up and over a hill to reach a little harbour that the artist had settled in. On the way we spoke to workmen laying new paving slabs. They were very friendly and jabbered their answer in French. With much patience and many gestures from them I finally gathered the direction I should take. Going down a steep hill that I found difficult to believe any vehicle could ever use; we found a tranquil bay with many fishing boats gently bobbing on the water.

The house seemed to be the only house there. We found out it hadn’t started that way. Over time Salvador Dali had bought up the various houses in the bay as he got richer and more and more eccentric.

We were taken round to the various rooms all filled with amazing things. One had a ceramic snail and in another a life sized stuffed bear. In his studio there was even an original piece of half completed art still there. I have always been a fan of his and have always enjoyed his work. He belonged to the Surrealist art movement and so some found his paintings and sculptures strange and difficult. This was not so for me. I am an emotional sort of guy and suppose that because he painted emotionally his art spoke to me.

We returned home via the same wiggly winding route. This was unintentional but it did give us a chance to see the fantastic coastal scenery again.

Normally, Andrea and I are not what you would call “Beach Bums”, but we decided as we had such a lovely beach and lovely sea we would spend Thursday on the beach. We walked from the campsite and found a nice spot. The sun was strong but it wasn’t too hot. I had brought a sun parasol that was supplied buy the holiday company. It turned out to be a prudent idea as the beach offered no protection from the sun. After swimming in the sea with Sarah-Jane I settled down to have a bit of a sleep. I started with the shadow of the parasol protecting me, but I had not allowed for the fact that the sun would move and so after a while I was well asleep in the full glare of the sun. I woke up feeling quite hot and unfortunately, quite badly sun burned. It took two days for the sunburn to diminish; I was very red and very sore.

On one evening we found in the local resort had a fantastic market of crafts and gifts. Andrea and I were surprised to find out we had plenty of time to look around as it would not close until 12 midnight.

By now the holiday was fast coming to an end. We had had such a great time and, as always seems to be the way, the week definitely seemed never to be long enough. We cleaned the caravan on Friday evening and got ready for our trip home the next day.

All was packed and so off we went to catch the flight.

The return flight seemed better than the one coming. Andrea did experience so much the problems with her ears. I was able to get a window seat and spent a lot of the time watch the clouds.

Nearing the end of the flight and when we started to descend, I was delighted to see some of the recognisable parts of London. The first thing I recognised was Wimbledon. Not long after there was Tower Bridge! The shape of the River Thames could clearly be seen as well. This showed we were not far from landing.

Having landed we caught the bus that took us to the place we had parked a week before. I had not realised how far the car was.

I had done all the driving whilst in France so I asked Andrea to drive home. I sat in the back and read the paper. Because of this I did not notice how Andrea was having to deal with very heavy rain and thunder and lightning. She told me later that she was compelled to drive at a crawl some of the time. God is always faithful and all was well and we all got home safely.

So there we were our holiday to France.

Ten years Party

2007-06-11T18:02:00.000+01:00

On Sunday 3^rd June we had a 10 year celebration of Kids Club. Alison had the idea and wanted to invite everyone who had ever come to Kids Club whether leaders or child. It was a lot of hard work, but well worthwhile.

We had a bouncy castle and various stalls. We had free Ice Cream and gave everyone free curry!

Nearly 180 came along! It was great to see all the old faces.

About every half hour someone was nominated to be splatted. This involved a leader standing and waiting for a water-filled sponge to be thrown at them. Alison made sure she had a black bag around her to protect her, but I and everyone else were “macho” and did not use any protection at all.

Mike (our pastor) spoke and shared about how life only finds an answer when we have Jesus.

We ended around 4:30 and everyone eventually drifted away by 5pm.

I was not looking forward to packing the bouncy castle away. It had been difficult enough to get it there in the first place. I had been told by my daughter of an opportunity to get a less expensive bouncy castle. We'd always planned to have one but we were getting very expensive quotes. When we picked it up I was told it needed at least four people to move it. I got to the place to get it and Kieren was waiting for me. I had asked my friend Dez to help me to come along to get it in the van I had borrowed. It didn't look that big and after all the scare stories I was surprised to see Kieren waiting there a all on his own. So having pushed and shoved we eventually got it in the van.

Dropping it off at the school was a bit easier, though it was only Dez and I that was left to do it; Kieren had to go elsewhere.

So, packing it up was not a welcome prospect. One of the main difficulties was getting all the air out. I rolled on it and it bulged in all the wrong places. Eventually with help we got it rolled up.

We had the use of a trolley, but, even with that the job was difficult. I had to ask more friends to help. I did not have a van so a roofer friend from church offered his and an ex soldier was willing to help as well. They pushed and shoved. They were working so hard it left for a time with nothing to do.

We took it to where we had got it from and dropped it off. Phew what hard work that was.

2006 An Eventful Year

2007-05-05T09:34:00.000+01:00

It all started last November 2005 when I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I had been experiencing all the symptoms associated with diabetes – thirstiness, going to the toilet a lot and even some weight loss. I chose to ignore these symptoms for a while not willing for it to interfere with my then lifestyle. I started to get some back pain, which I had put down to bad posture at my work. My work, at the Tower Hamlet’s Town Hall, involves long periods of sitting in a, not always comfortable, chair answering calls talking about Council Tax.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes back pain! So I went to the doctor who gave me some painkillers. After a while I returned to the doctor still in pain so she gave me a urine test. When she saw the results she nearly hit the roof and told me I was in quite a bit of trouble and promptly gave me an emergency blood test at the hospital. This confirmed her fears: My blood sugar levels and cholesterol were very high and if I had left them unchecked I was in serious danger of dying. Things had to change and the doctor put me straight on to medication that would bring some of these levels down. The doctor told me I had to do some hard work as well. Change my diet, lose some weight, and start exercising. It all sounded horrific. You know me; I am not good at any of these things. I managed to make a good start and surprisingly my levels did come down. The reduction figures were significant enough for the doctor to call me her star patient and not just for the doctor but also the whole surgery. I was chuffed.

That’s not the whole story, over the years I had noticed my eyesight changing and I had got a pair of vary-focal glasses. As well as being diagnosed with diabetes, I was also concerned my vision had getting worse. My original prescription seemed not to be as effective and I was having trouble seeing clearly whilst driving. As a result, I went to the optician, who found some retinal bleeding in the eyes. She explained that this condition changes the focal length of the eye and can lead to blindness. So she sent me straight to eye casualty at St Thomas Hospital. She told me not to drive until it was sorted.

This situation caused a lot of pressure for Andrea who hated the idea of driving for me. Understandably she finds driving in London a bit scary but took on the challenge of driving me around admirably. After two consultations at the hospital they where happy the panic was over and discharged me. My GP told me Diabetes is quite a complex condition and because I had been so good this had caused the problems with my eyes.

I have to work so hard to keep the place that I had reached before. Unfortunately the last time I went to the Lipid Clinic, I was told I had put on five kilograms! Back to more hard work.

Christmas was fun, we all spent Christmas day where Sarah-Jane lives. This is an old vicarage in the heart of Bermondsey. She lives there because she does two sessions a week with The Salmon Youth Centre. The house, though a little run down, had a nice charm that enhanced the mood of Christmas, especially as we were able to have an open fire in the lounge. We used quite a lot of the wood that had been accumulating in Sarah-Jane’s garden.

2006 saw both of us reach half a century. In January Andrea was the first to reach 50 and she thought she would like to celebrate it by going to Center Parcs in Suffolk/Norfolk border. All the family came from various parts of the country. We were able to get two chalets next to each other. It was quite an active few days. The centre of attention was, of course, Andrea. We went to a restaurant in the complex and when they found out it was Andrea’s birthday gave her a lot of helium filled balloons. During the meal Kieren (ever the joker of the family) started tying them to Andrea's arms and legs. Not just one or two, but eight! Andrea is normally not one for things like that, but she was very sporting and walked through the shopping area bedecked with them attracting many a stare.
We had been married 27 years by April. We wanted to find a place to celebrate near one of our favourite places: Minsmere RSPB reserve. The guesthouse we stayed at was lovely, it had a real Oldie-Worldy charm; full of creaky doors and prominent oak beams. We visited Minsmere and had a great time seeing a lot of birds and other wildlife that are not found in good old London Town. Things like hearing a Bittern “boom” (it sounds like someone blowing across a milk bottle), or seeing Sand Martens skim and dance across the water to catch insects. We thank God for His wonderful creation!

For the last few years we have gone to France for our holiday and we decided, in May, we would try South Brittany. It was further away than first thought and took nearly thirteen hours to get there. We stayed at a campsite that was considered to be one of the best in Europe. Getting there quite late we were welcomed and showed to our pitch. It was dark by the time we had finished pitching the tents so did not know what the site was really like.

When I awoke I couldn’t believe my ears! The noise of the dawn chorus was amazing! And each morning was the same. It's great visiting France, there are lots of things that we don't normally get in England, and there were lots of sounds I did not recognise. One of the sounds was a kind of screeching-croaking sound. We had no idea what it was it turned out to be otters! Andrea saw them when during an evening walk around the lake that was very close to where we had pitched.
One morning we heard a strong buzzing sound. A swarm of bees liked the look of the tree and took up residence there in the next pitch along from us. We asked what would happen to them at the reception desk and they confidently predicted they would be gone in two days, surprise, surprise they were; maybe they were trained bees!

I was fifty in July and wanted to have a major celebration. I had been thinking about the party for a long time. I was keen for the theme to be God's faithfulness. I wanted to express how grateful I was how much my Heavenly Father had looked after me.

Sending out the invitations I had no clue how many people would come. To my genuine astonishment loads of people came; it was great. They were rewarded by a fiendishly difficult quiz and puzzles. Kieren was Master of Ceremonies for the evening and kept things moving. He planned several surprises. One was a series of Kid’s Club games. He picked “volunteers” to come and compete against me and of course it was always my competitors who seemed to win!

Dave Nunn gave a “This is your life” talk with embarrassing stories and photos.
The food and drink was admirably organised by my friend Angela. She got people to bring contributions of food making sure all types of food were covered. Many people helped and all I can say is a big thank-you to everyone who helped.
We had a disco and I got really stuck in doing the “Staying Alive” strut with Sarah-Jane and her friend Clare.

It has been nearly ten years since I began to go to the East End church plant. We have now become a fully-fledged church with full time leaders leading the church. It is such a great church and God is doing big things amongst the membership, getting us ready for the day when we see things really change for the people of East London.

My First Blog

2007-05-05T08:51:00.000+01:00

This is all new to me, so I don't know what to do. But, I'm going to give it a shot.